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Dai Lowe

rank: 8817

Last week's position: 8812

first registered 09.10.08

last online 7 hours ago

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about me

Dai Lowe (2003-2006), from Nottingham, is a self-confessed dilettante (or, as we say in Scotland, 'waster'), living in Edinburgh, painting, writing, eating and drinking until the money runs out. In fact, until the government recognises bone-idleness as a medical condition, I'm hanging around outside the wolf's door.

PLEASE NOTE:

I left this place after authonomy implicitly accused me of offensiveness by rejecting an avatar change without explanation. It was only me with a slight black eye.

I returned in June 2012, when someone commented on one of my books after a 2 year gap, just to say thanks. I seem to be hanging around to have fun in the forum. I will not be reading any books. And the response during my initial stay has shown me pushing my own stuff is a waste of energy. But I'm leaving my books here for your enjoyment, just in case you're undiscerning enough.

So PLEASE stop sending requests for me to read your books. And I won't be accepting friend requests but I hope I'm everybody's friend, cos I love you all. xxx ;o)

favourite books

I Love You from Miffy, Ulysses, A la Recherche etc, Finnegans Wake, Catch-22, Emma, Anna K

my websites

http://www.lucidity.ltd.uk     http://www.poonlop.com

HarperCollins is not responsible for the content of external internet sites.

my books

Fardel's Bear

J D Lowe

graecum est: non legitur

Now complete at 136,300ww
Part I: 85,900, II: 50,400

~chunk 11 now edited. Leaving it for now.


York, 1979

— After all, life is much easier for the unpublished than the published author.
— What's the difference? asked Amanda, right on cue.
— Why, before you're published, people ask you what your book is about. Afterwards everybody tells you.
— Oh, I wish I'd said that.
— Well, sod off, Oscar, 'cause I said it first.

The last great novel of the 20th Century? Probably not.

Full text available as two .rtf files at www.lucidity.ltd.uk/bear.htm

 

Little Mr Poonlop's Seventh Ho....

J D Lowe

A very silly book about a nice little man trying to plan a relaxing holiday,not helped by his rather mischievous(but good-natured)author. www.poonlop.com


When Little Mr Poonlop decided it was time he had a holiday it all seemed so simple …
But it wasn’t …
First we had to decide how many holidays he’d been on before ~ and that was before he started looking at the brochures and visiting travel agents, which only confused him. Eventually, in a rather odd way, he got somewhere. Where? That would be telling. See if you can guess from this excerpt …
--On the river bank Mr Poonlop could see many people walking along holding hands. A young man on a bridge showed Mr Poonlop a box of hands and asked him if he'd like to buy one to hold. Mr Poonlop said 'no, thank you.' He told me he thought that was a very sick joke, so I crossed it out.
Not very helpful, was it? You'll just have to read the book.

--Just then,Mr Poonlop heard a rumbling sound, getting louder and louder. Abdul pointed to a cloud of dust which was rushing towards them across the sand. “Camels!” he shouted. “Stampede!”

“Wait a minute,” said Mr Poonlop; “that doesn’t happen in the book.” “I know,” I said. “But they don’t.” You do now.

 

Knights in the Gardens of Spay....

Dai Lowe

What happens when a football team reduced to playing in people's gardens when they're out, gets drawn against Man Utd at home in the Cup?


The once (almost) mighty Wanderers now play for fun and anywhere they can ~ and that's usually Mr Snodgrass's back garden when he's out. Even when an administrative error puts them in the FA Cup, they think it'll mean only a laugh and a quick exit. But flukes can sometimes lead us deeper into trouble ... Meanwhile, local Lothario, Jeremy Jardine sets his lascivious sights on a high-powered consultant, sent to put Wyberton, Spayne and Spigwell on the world map (once she can find it on an English one). She wants to make the area famous, he just wants to make her. For once, he seems to have met his match. For once, Mrs Jardine suspects something. Just a rather silly story of country folk, it should come to a satisfyingly silly but rounded conclusion. No Spayne Wanderers will not win the FACup but will Jardine 'FACup' his marriage? For now, Part I (General Life) is up plus a synopsis plus some old blogs about shelves. Enjoy.

 

The Cleobury Quartet

Dai Lowe

Stuck in the pouring rain on a windswept hill, what tales, what memories are those?


Four men gather in the Shropshire Hills for a walking and drinking weekend. But the weather suddenly changes and they are stuck in their host's isolated cottage with nothing better to do than tell tall tales. But as their stories unfold it seems that each is concealing a dark secret, some misdeed they have tried to forget ~ and seem to have got away with.

But have they?

A complete Novella at just under 9,500 words, with a few notes added to make up the ten k.

Also available as an rtf file at www.lucidity.ltd.uk/Cleobury.rtf

 

Tortillas de Camarones

Dai Lowe

Collected blogs of a broken-hearted Brit in Spainland

illustrated versions at www.lucidity.ltd.uk/camarone/home.htm


In 2000 I went to live in Cádiz, Spainland, where I became known as el inglé' loco. As the inhabitants of that city are known for collective insanity, I assume that means I am normal.

Then again an Irish visitor said to me ~ "I overheard you talking and I thought, 'that guy will know where to get the best drugs'. Then I listened some more and thought, 'no ~ that guy's brain is already in the state the rest of us have to pay good money to achieve!' But do you know where ...?"

So, though I didn't know they were called blogs back then, these are mine. Illustrated versions available on my site.

Warning ~ they do take a flexible attitude to so-called reality.

 

my friends

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latest

Baccus wrote 2 days ago

It was a long time ago, Dai, and you were getting lots of comments at....

colin smith wrote 2 days ago

Not that you'll care much, or even wake, but http://authonomy.com/for....

MichaelDorman wrote 16 days ago

Hi Dai, I did read your profile, but wasn't going to let some "I don....

MichaelDorman wrote 16 days ago

Hello, I saw your profile and was intrigued. I says to myself, “sel....

Darius Stransky wrote 28 days ago

Cheers I'll check the downloads Darius

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my comments

latest

I wrote 180 days ago

Thank you kindly. It could just be that that's how my brane wurks. My adult book publisher specialises in 'eperimental fiction' but I had no idea my stuff might be labelled thus. Makes me worried I wrote gibberish and they think I'm being deep and interlektial and all that. view book

I wrote 183 days ago

That's very nice of you. But do bear in mind I'm not looking for backings or in with a snowflake's in hell of getting anywhere anyway (this is the first backing for 504 days!). So do free up your shelf space for someone who is. But yes, lovely to know I made someone laugh. Out loud even. view book

I wrote 243 days ago

You say the sweetest things! ¡Gracias! view book

I wrote 686 days ago

Wow, that's really nice of you. Would that most readers (on here and otherwise) and any publishers agreed. I haven't had any comments or backings for nearly two years and suddenly two come along at once! (One for my kids' book) So I had weaned myself off the site and accepted the message that m... view book

I wrote 1283 days ago

I really hope you don't recast this as YA. I see the YA phenomenon as a major signifier of much that is wrong with our culture today and I'd hate to see it devouring all that is right, snuffing out the lights of originality wherever it finds them and turning them into more adolescent pabulum to f... view book

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