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Splinker

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first registered 25.11.09

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about me

We had some fun.

If you want to see how Fred makes out, http://tinyurl.com/Shambler .

"Inside My Shorts: 30 Quickies," may be purchased on Amazon
http://www.amazon.com/Inside-My-Shorts-Quickies-ebook/dp/B006NGE8QW/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1324394039&sr=8-2



Agents, publishers, stalkers, and UK Lottery agents may contact me at Ibdeader@hotmail.com

This year I expect to finish two novels and another book of shorts, as well as completing Skyrim both as a assasian and as a warrior.

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http://ivebeendeader.blogspot.com    

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my books

THE ENDz

Edited By Adam Sifre

It's the end of the world as we write it, and I feel fine. Avoid the 2012 rush. End your world now!


There are a lot of strange people on Authonomy. People obsessed with telling dark, terrible stories. Fortunately, there is also a world full of people obsessed with reading dark, terrible stories. The bible's got nothing on these guys. Inside these pages, you'll find the apocalypse, the whole apocalypse and nothing but the apocalypse, so help me read.

Please, read. Enjoy. Before it's too late.

And Congrats to Paul Freeman for winning the Apocalypse Flash Fiction Friday Contest!

 

Take A Breather

Splinker

Sometimes a zombie apocalypse is the least of your problems.


Comfort, Colorado, is a sleepy little village nestled at the foot of the Rocky Mountains, just beyond the Eisenhower tunnels. Surrounded by a forest of gold and orange, it’s a picture-perfect paradise on sunny, autumn days like today. Right now, the meteorite destined to slam into poor George Potts’ head and begin the zombie apocalypse is still weeks away, Fred and Timmy are happy and breathing back in Jersey, and the Turnpike … well, the Turnpike is still shit.

The prequel to "I've Been Deader," "Take A Breather" brings us back to a simpler time. A time before zombies, crazed children and civil servants. Okay, so some horrors never go away. Find out how the residents of Comfort, Colorado got along when the only things they had to worry about were each other.

But don't despair, like the Division of Motor Vehicles, the story still has plenty of zombies. So stock up on canned goods, lock the cellar door and come along for a ride to see how it all started.

 

My Little Black Book

Splinker

We all have a little black book with our poems in it. Some of us just choose not to put them in words. Here's mine.


My goal is to evoke. I'm not trying to dazzle or impress with a clever turn of phrase. Stories, my stories anyway, require a bit of distance between me and the words. I try to get out of the way of the story. Not so with my poems. These words are from me to you. A story is a bunch of telling, in the end. My poems are a conversation. Each one demands a response.

 

"I've Been Deader"

Adam Sifre

Being undead never felt more alive. Fred's just an ordinary zombie until one day he learns a trick.


The undead had a good run at the beginning, but once the breathers get organized, it's only a matter of time before zombies go the way of pet rocks and sea monkeys. They need a hero. They need Fred. Fred is a natural dead leader with a flair for poetry and a fierce love for his son, Timmy. Unfortunately, as far as the undead are concerned, the only good Timmy is a dead Timmy.

Things look grim for the undead until Fred flies into a rage trying to make popcorn and discovers he has a talent for controlling zombies. Now the undead are organized and, like the unions, in a position to destroy America. Is there no one who can stop them? More importantly, do we want them to?

"I've Been Deader" tells its story through a series of short chapters designed to read like flash fiction. Today's readers want it fast, short and entertaining, and that's what I give them.

Stick around. We'll have some fun.

 

My Life On Facebook: and other....

Adam Sifre

Don't worry about who you are. Worry about who you should pretend to be.


The forties. Where happiness goes to die. If you are forty-something, married, successful and happy, don't worry. There's still time. If you've already been crushed, divorced, financially ruined. If you find yourself yelling at Fox News and toughing out the latest "Friends" marathon, then have I got a book for you. Written in four hours for WisPy's MayHem contest, My Life on FaceBook still needs a few tweeks, such as an ending, a coherant story line and less references to fish. But trust me. It's still worth a read.

 

416

Edited by Splinker

Every story is exactly 416 words long. They are all horror. They are all fantastic. Trust but verify.


There has never been an anthology like this. A special Halloween treat. All horror. All 416 words long. Inspired by Authonomy's contest and my genius, "416" is a unique collection of horror short shorts. You could do a lot worse than spend a few hours reading these beauties.

The only rule is no Joan Rivers. Some horror stories should never be told.

Special thanks to DragonLady for designing the cover!
Now available at Smashwords! http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/97935
And Barnes & Nobel at
http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/416-adam-sifre/1108001719?ean=2940032899655&itm=8&usri=416
AS OF NOVEMBER 4, REVISED SMASHWORDS EDITION AVAILABLE WITH HYPERLINKED TABLE OF CONTENTS

 

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andycp1999 wrote 5 days ago

What program did you use to make your book covers?

ShardsofSkies wrote 53 days ago

Hi Fellow Author, How would you feel about sharing your knowledge ....

miacia7 wrote 80 days ago

I am done! My book has been edited! Read it, find yourself in my situ....

kristylove wrote 108 days ago

Hello, my name is miss Kristy i saw your profile and have interest i....

joymab1 wrote 114 days ago

Hello, My name is Joy, a young caring girl i saw your contact on....

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I wrote 201 days ago

I agree with pretty much everything Casmir said. view book

I wrote 407 days ago

Here's my HCG review for Blacken Heath Seance Parlour. I thought the writing got in the way of your story. There's a lot of metaphor and simile packed into almost every paragraph and it ended up duling my reaction to the unusual weather. Especially after you introduce the spindly woman. You s... view book

I wrote 468 days ago

I really enjoy reading about Lucas and the concept of scanning. This is a very well written novel and, although it is a little complicated in the opening chapters, I don't think sci-fi fans will much of an issue with this. Really well done. I'm impressed. view book

I wrote 607 days ago

It is a very good concept. Enough imagination and story to hook any fan of Young Adult fiction. Reminded me a bit of the Ranger Apprentice series that my son used to read. The writing needs a bit of polish, but that just means it is as good as just about anything on here. You have a good ... view book

I wrote 611 days ago

All Contributors: Please read the post on the following link: http://www.authonomy.com/forums/threads/85895/-416-and-charity-/?pagenumber=1 view book

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