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Splinker

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first registered 25.11.09

last online 18 mins ago

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about me

Writing is a passion. If I couldn't write, I'd do something else because, let's face it, passion isn't what it's cracked up to be.

I have so many stories in me that I sometimes have to take a stool softener. It helps me uncliche.

I write short stories and novels and the occasional fraudulent prescription. I have nothing against agents and publishers, per se, but we don't seem to travel in the same circles. Still, if you want to praise me, I won't hold it against you.

Anyone who simply can't get enough of me can try to email me at ibdeader@hotmail.com.

favourite books

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my websites

http://ivebeendeader.blogspot.com    

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my books

Take A Breather

Splinker

Sometimes a zombie apocalypse is the least of your problems.


Comfort, Colorado is a sleepy little village nestled at the foot of the Rocky Mountains, just beyond the Eisenhower tunnels. Surrounded by a forest of gold and orange, it’s a picture-perfect paradise on sunny, autumn days like today. Right now, the meteorite destined to slam into poor George Potts’ head and begin the zombie apocalypse is still weeks away, Fred and Timmy are happy and breathing back in Jersey, and the Turnpike … well, the Turnpike is still shit.

The prequel to "I've Been Deader," "Take A Breather" brings us back to a simpler time. A time before zombies, crazed children and civil servants. Okay, so some horrors never go away. Find out how the residents of Comfort, Colorado got along when the only things they had to worry about were each other.

But don't despair, like the Division of Motor Vehicles, the story still has plenty of zombies. So stock up on canned goods, lock the cellar door and come along for a ride to see how it all started.

 

THE ENDz

Edited By Adam Sifre

It's the end of the world as we write it, and I feel fine. Avoid the 2012 rush. End your world now!


There are a lot of strange people on Authonomy. People obsessed with telling dark, terrible stories. Fortunately, there is also a world full of people obsessed with reading dark, terrible stories. The bible's got nothing on these guys. Inside these pages, you'll find the apocalypse, the whole apocalypse and nothing but the apocalypse, so help me read.

Please, read. Enjoy. Before it's too late.

And Congrats to Paul Freeman for winning the Apocalypse Flash Fiction Friday Contest!

 

"I've Been Deader"

Adam Sifre

Being undead never felt more alive. Fred's just an ordinary zombie until one day he learns a trick.


The undead had a good run at the beginning, but once the breathers get organized, it's only a matter of time before zombies go the way of pet rocks and sea monkeys. They need a hero. They need Fred. Fred is a natural dead leader with a flair for poetry and a fierce love for his son, Timmy. Unfortunately, as far as the undead are concerned, the only good Timmy is a dead Timmy.

Things look grim for the undead until Fred flies into a rage trying to make popcorn and discovers he has a talent for controlling zombies. Now the undead are organized and, like the unions, in a position to destroy America. Is there no one who can stop them? More importantly, do we want them to?

"I've Been Deader" tells its story through a series of short chapters designed to read like flash fiction. Today's readers want it fast, short and entertaining, and that's what I give them.

Stick around. We'll have some fun.

 

My Life On Facebook: and other....

Adam Sifre

Don't worry about who you are. Worry about who you should pretend to be.


The forties. Where happiness goes to die. If you are forty-something, married, successful and happy, don't worry. There's still time. If you've already been crushed, divorced, financially ruined. If you find yourself yelling at Fox News and toughing out the latest "Friends" marathon, then have I got a book for you. Written in four hours for WisPy's MayHem contest, My Life on FaceBook still needs a few tweeks, such as an ending, a coherant story line and less references to fish. But trust me. It's still worth a read.

 

416

Edited by Splinker

Every story is exactly 416 words long. They are all horror. They are all fantastic. Trust but verify.


There has never been an anthology like this. A special Halloween treat. All horror. All 416 words long. Inspired by Authonomy's contest and my genius, "416" is a unique collection of horror short shorts. You could do a lot worse than spend a few hours reading these beauties.

The only rule is no Joan Rivers. Some horror stories should never be told.

Special thanks to DragonLady for designing the cover!
Now available at Smashwords! http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/97935
And Barnes & Nobel at
http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/416-adam-sifre/1108001719?ean=2940032899655&itm=8&usri=416
AS OF NOVEMBER 4, REVISED SMASHWORDS EDITION AVAILABLE WITH HYPERLINKED TABLE OF CONTENTS

 

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latest

KirkH wrote 4 days ago

Thanks Adam, I'll check out your book ;-) Kirk

rikasworld wrote 4 days ago

Well, if you could tell me it would definitely improve the weather ......

lizjrnm wrote 9 days ago

How are we not friends here? Hello? McFly?

Robert Wingfield wrote 9 days ago

You old groupie you :-) I've dropped to #4 now, so you can remove my....

lizjrnm wrote 12 days ago

Facebook book - interesting. That's all I can say electronically...

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my comments

latest

I wrote 15 days ago

One more comment: The last two lines of the prologue would make an excellent short pitch, followed by the rest of your pitch. view book

I wrote 15 days ago

I think the prologue is excellent. I don't see a lot of second person pov and I'm not sure it could work for the entire book, and I'm glad the rest of your novel doesn't, but the immediacy/connection with the reader that the opening paragraphs establish is brilliant. My only quibble is that the ti... view book

I wrote 19 days ago

I haven't read the book yet, but there are so few stories on Authonomy with the abortion tag that I couldn't pass this one up. I'm in the middle of two books right now, but look forward to reading this one. view book

I wrote 22 days ago

As you can imagine, I read nothing but YA and chick lit. It's time you pushed for the editors desk. There aren't a lot of well written stories for this genre here and I bet HC would eat this one up. view book

I wrote 82 days ago

Parts of this are pure genius. view book

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