captain clyde recent comments

written 1331 days ago
cherry

chapter 1 is chapter 1 then comes chapter 2--it has been split into chapters; the first 4 chapters ( 1 & 2 are up for reading ) 3 & 4 need to editied and chapter 5 is currenlty is in crafting mode while the final chapter(s) are being planned. as for your editng suggestions ...thanks but that is the main reason i need a book/publishing contract so i can get a professional editor then a professional publisher then my book into book shelves then the movie deal then themerchendising deals then my old fund is set and then i can also take care of my ma.
anything else you wish answers for?????
by the way take a look at a harry potter book it too has alot of pages for chapters as well--i looked at a lot of books so i could get a sense of chapter lengths

Hi Jeff,
I really enjoyed reading this, although your first chapter was so long, I only managed half of it in half an hour and had no more time. You might think of shortening it (dividing into two chapters, easily done).
Grant Grabowski is such a great name for a wrestler and he's wonderful character.
We can tell he's a good guy by how he tries to rescue the girl in the water, but unfortunatly he falls in himself and ends up in hospital. Very amusing.
He's not really very tough and 'shakes like a leaf '( I liked that)
Your speech marks are all over the place "Silence" "sit down" Allow me to introduce myself ("Silence! Sit down. Allow me to introduce....and why you are here." ie. all in speech marks, no need to separate silence and sit down).
"If" should be 'If'
I liked the part in the zoo with the monkeys cursing. Excellent.
Enjoyed Jimmy and the tag team and the hose ("suck, kid"). Very funny.

This is a very entertaining and imaginative story, with a superb main character. It needs a little loving kindness but has lots of potential.
Backed with pleasure,
Barry
LITTLE KRISNA AND THE BIHAR BOYS

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