Avatar for mmallico

mmallico

rank: 2819

Last week's position: 2821

first registered 23.05.11

last online 493 days ago

report abuse
about me

I am a twenty year old student in Arizona. I have been working on my first novel for nearly two and a half years now. Recently I went through a very major rewrite, so I am still working on that.

favourite books

Harry Potter, Lord of The Rings, Chronicles of Narnia, Left Behind

my websites

    

HarperCollins is not responsible for the content of external internet sites.

my books

Alannian and the Sword of Azal....

Matthew Mallicoat

He died in one life trying to defeat the king. Can he succeed in another?


Thirteen-year-old Alannian is the Incarnation, the most recent in a lineage that has preserved harmony between humans, elves, and dwarves for millennia--ever since a powerful elf created the Incarnation Cycle. But King Fayavor believes the Incarnations have prevented humans from achieving true greatness, and he wants Alannian dead.

For most of his life, the elves had kept Alannian’s identity a secret from him, but no longer. As Alannian leaves his home, a traitor reveals his identity to the king’s key enforcer and Alannian’s uncle is killed. From freeing slaves to evading an entire Legion out for his blood, Alannian must learn to harness his increasing power as he seeks to find solace in his uncle’s death.

 

my friends

Jesserella
Jesserella
last online 5 hours ago
Brian Newsome
Brian Newsome
last online 563 days ago

leave me a message

click here to leave a message

latest

joymab1 wrote 83 days ago

Hello, My name is Joy, a young caring girl i saw your contact on....

princessjobe wrote 166 days ago

Hello my name is princess i saw your profile today and became inter....

princessjobe wrote 166 days ago

Hello my name is princess i saw your profile today and became inter....

lilian wrote 174 days ago

HELLO How are you today, I hope all is well with you. I am sorry to ....

subra_2k123 wrote 420 days ago

Hi mmallico, 'ozoneraser' is hanging at 10 rank for more than 5 mont....

view all

my comments

latest

I wrote 657 days ago

Very vivid and good job on putting us in Mason's shoes. I do have a couple of points to make though. The way your sentences flow needs to be worked on. At times, it is repititive. For example, you explain the smell of pee way too many times in the first paragraph. Maybe give us something else. Ex... view book

I wrote 662 days ago

Chapter 1- Very descriptive, although the pacing is off with the first bits of dialouge. There is a great deal of confusion who speaks first. I would establish this earlier or give us the dialouge later. Also, there are too many names too soon without much context. It seems you are trying to imm... view book

I wrote 676 days ago

A little verbose, but a good story nonetheless. I would suggest breaking up your paragraphs. Longer paragraphs can be a bore, especially to a younger reader. I also worry that some of your description may be a little drawn out for your target audience. Be sure to mind your punctuation. Whenever y... view book

I wrote 677 days ago

Very good character! People will be rooting for Tommy through and through. I only had time to read the first chapter, but rest assured I will return for more! I do have a couple points to make though. I think you tag on commas too many times. For example, take the sentence 'and an ill fitting ... view book

I wrote 677 days ago

Very entertaining read! I'm not sure what book it was, but this reminded me of it so much! Very good imagery and good description too boot!. Definitely worth a backing view book

view all