I'll make notes as I go... Chap one... Nice descriptions...don't believe there's such a beast as a cameraless Japanese tourist...they've always got one somewhere... The descritption of the empty glasses - it runs a little long maybe? Specifically, the 'not quite ordered' tag at the end...ma... view book

Man, that first chapter is a killer, length-wise....on the screen, I mean...it would be fine in a book. It must be hard to write this....you're in the head of the savant, right? His thoughts shoot around a lot...I liked the john boy walton segue into facial moles... Actually, maybe it's not th... view book

Chap four... Good three, short paragraphs of description on Shalimar. Good word choices, generally, although sometimes you seem to stretch too far... I can't highlight text for some reason, but I'm talking about the paragraph that starts with 'it was incongruous...' it feels that there's no pr... view book

Not convinced about the first one, a bit amateur, but the rest of them were great. view book

Man, I'm guessing you've read that book by Beckett where the old man sits in the train station and does nothing for the first 50 odd pages...he might've continued to do nothing for another 50 pages, I don't know, I stopped reading there...to me, it was a piece of shit. I think it was called Watt, bu... view book