"There was a time when all I wanted was to die but now I have truly tasted life and love living."
Here I am, again, sitting on the bathroom floor, with a broken razor in my hand. Just enough of the cheap, blue, disposable, razor has been chipped away so that the sharp corners are exposed, exposed only enough to make some small cuts into the skin on my wrist.
“God, what is wrong with me, why am I like this? This just isn't normal! AND I am a leader in a Church!”
This was my conversation with God not very long ago. Yet again, I was having another attack of "whatever"! I had no idea what it was that came at me and I had no idea why I had gone there or even how I started going there in the first place. I had no idea what to call this “attack” so out of pure frustration I called it “whatever”.
Whatever it was or whatever it meant or what caused it, I just don’t know but whatever it was it simply had to go. Even though it was “whatever” which sounds very blasé it was a very real place that I found myself in.