Thank you for looking at my work and I hope that you will get the chance to read some more.
It is interesting to get some male perspective on my work.
Thank you again Mick

Hi Mick,

I’ve only read a few chapters so far. I’ll definitely come back to read some more.
Your narrative is brilliant, nihilistic, but poetic too. I love the underlying philosophy.
The characters are great, very natural and well formed.

There are a couple of instances where I noticed a comma or full stop is needed, but on the whole it reads smoothly.
I believe with some good editing, ‘Rules of Engagement’ could be a very strong piece of literature.

Of the three chapters I read, there is only one nitpick I can point out

In chapter 1 the following sentence doesn’t read too well for me;

‘Every thing I say comes from me, but that’s not to say its all fact or that its all part of some universal truth but it is, or was who I am and that is all that I can be, all I know how to be.’

‘Everything’ should be one word. The ‘its’ in ‘its all fact or that its all’ should be ‘it’s’ as in ‘it is all fact’ and so on.
And the end of the sentence kind of loses me. I think it should be a separate sentence saying something like, ‘I am who I am and that’s all I can be; all I know how to be.’

Hope that helps!
Highly starred, will be back to read more!

Cheers,
Adam

view book

Hello Adam,
Thank you for giving me the opportunity to read your work. It was a pleasure, it is clear that you have a great deal of talent and that you pride your self on the quality of your work and you are right to do so. I would be interested to see how the work has grown from the first to the sixth redraft. But then I like to see how things develop and grow.
Some thing sat with me as I read through your work and that was how polished it is, every word and sentence is so well constructed and maybe and this is only a maybe that high polish blinds the reader from the real story. I would like to see some of the rough passion from the characters rather than the high sheen, Their is so much control, every part of the story reflects this. I don't know how old you are but from your picture maybe twenties and the book could reflect this. Maybe I want to see the release of the passion of youth into the work. This passion and energy combined with your obvious talent would make for a truly special piece of work.
Thank you Mick
view book

Hi, I read chapter one and clearly will read the next!You make me sympathise with you so much it hurts.lol Quite a unique way of telling a story anf ofcourse like shit in a swimming pool very hard not to turn another chapter!
You got me there.Highly *********
Josphine

Thank you for your kind comments I hope you enjoy the rest of my work, Mick view book

Hello Jessica,
Thank you for giving me the oportunity to look at your work, it had a gentle warmth that I enjoyed. I have to say it was not the sort of book I would normaly read however I think that is the beauty of this site. to try some thing new and I am happy that I did. Childhood relationships always seem so simple from an adult perspective and I think you captured that honesty and simplicity very nicely.
Thank you Mick view book