You're certainly a product of your influences. You have a strong narrative driven along by a stronger voice (I'm thinking Holden Caulfield & Tyler Durden redux.) It's engaging stuff.

If I had to have a gripe with what you have here, I'd have to pick up on your use of Barry Bonds & Brett Favre, towards the very end of CH:1 - their inclusion dates your work. But as gripes go, that's about as minor as they get!

Well done, great stuff. view book

MAT,

There is very little I could say that hasn't been said already in one form of critiquing or another. So, I shall entirely avoid critiquing it.

I've read your first two chapters and they drew me in quickly, with understandable problems and easily accessible dilemmas that are conveyed both through great, clean dialogue and a keen eye paid to the detail of feelings. From that which I have read, I found your characters believable and almost instantly felt myself empathizing with Jessica and the situation she wants, but doesn't want.

I'll be sure to pick a couple of chapters further into the book and see how things progress, but I'm already mighty impressed with what you have here: a well-woven tale that is easy to get into, and difficult to put down.

- Cooley view book

I've discovered if you get up at 5am, you get a whole heck of a lot done!

I have the first six chapters and, I'm slightly surprised to say I like it, a lot. Please don't take offense to that, it's just, not a genre that I've never given much time to.

However, in the opening chapter, you establish the many problems of your protagonist in a swift manner, giving the reader the essentials to move the story forward, introducing the fairy-godmother to further act as a tool of narrative propulsion.

Your dialogue also works, ringing true and more-often than not laced with humour - even when dealing with someone so unstable. The eBay line had me chuckling that would've been full-blown laughter but for other people asleep in the house.

I'll be sure to read what's left when my eyes don't sting quite so much, but it's terribly enjoyable and really well-written!

- Cooley view book

First of all - please bear in mind that my critiquing skills are far below yours and are really rather elementary - I must thank you for writing your work in sensibly-sized paragraphs. So many people write four lines paragraphs, and after ten minutes it's simply infuriating. Moving on from pet-hates however...

I must admit that I've never ventured into the horror genre and by extension, have never read a ghost story but your work moves with a compelling blend of description and dialogue to fuel the narrative in a balanced manner that seems to be a rare thing (at least in what I've read on this site.) This then allows for a natural emergence of your characters - and is definitely something I can learn from.

You're heading to my shelf for, what I expect will be, a pro-longed stay.

- Cooley

view book

I found myself reading this a lot sooner than I expected.

Of what I've read so far, you are clearly invested in the story you're telling. You paint vivid pictures with your words, describing the plight both indirectly with images of persecution, and directly with descriptions of daily life in Uman, and the surroundings your protagonist finds himself in.

You're onto a real winner with this easily accessible work and it's on my shelf for the foreseeable future!

Keep it up.
- Cooley view book

I've read the first chapter as quickly as it feels it took you to write it. It flows like nothing I've read on Planet Authonomy, and like very little I've read in the real world. I'm really rather taken by it.

I'm afraid I haven't the time to continue tonight, but you can be sure I'll be checking back in, buckling up for the wild ride you're intent on subjecting your readers to. Is shelved and will remain there for the foreseeable future.

Keep it up!
- Cooley view book

I've only given your first chapter a quick skim tonight: I plan to tackle it properly tomorrow or over the weekend, but I've a feeling I'm going to like it, a lot.

'Nobody comes to Guyana for pleasure.' Had me in hysterics, just a cynical attention to detail that I really dig. I'm sure I'll have more to say when I've digested it properly.

- Cooley view book

My elementary critiquing is the part of this that I hate the most. but, I'm particularly taken by the dialogue that pushes the pace of the narrative along just fine. I think also, it's the juxtaposition of such a lady of advanced years enjoying such an adolescent lifestyle - it is fertile ground for comedic writing and I'm looking forward to reading more.

Keep it up!
- Cooley view book

Man, this is my kinda book.

Hooked on Hackers since I saw the eponymous film, I find it all strangely alluring and at the same time, waaay over the top of my head. I've only read the opening chapter so far but the relationship between your protagonist and Liam is sure to keep me coming back for more.

Your dialogue provides comedic moments, perhaps in-part because I recognise it given my proximity to Newcastle/Geordie land. However, it also works with your inner musings to push things along at a steady pace to keep the reader locked in.

Consider it thoroughly enjoyable and most importantly, shelved!

- Cooley view book

Edward,

Having read the prologue and the first chapter I'm encouraged to carry on. A well-crafted stream of consciousness which encompasses both factors of narrative propulsion and intricate detail. Is shelved and will stay there!

Keep it up!
- Cooley view book

Got finished with the first chapter last night and I've got to say, I'll be coming back for me. Well-paced & pushed along with identifiable characters. It's shelved and I'm thinking it'll stay there for some time! view book