Hi AudreyAlthough I don't read Christian books usually, I must say that I am enjoying your book immensely. Am up to Chapter 6 and have only seen one editorial error (Chapter 2 - tan unfamiliar), but more importantly, you write very well and in a way that entices the reader to keep reading. Your descriptions enable me to immediately picture the person or situation. Good luck with this and I will put you on my bookshelf in the next few days.JennyLiebling - an adventurous life view book
CHIRGHi JuliaHave read all nine chapters. I agree with the comments from D S Hale below about liking the plot, characters and your writing, as well as the cliff hangers. I have no suggestions for improvement because it's great the way it is. Rating it highly and will put it on my bookshelf.JennyLiebling - an adventurous life view book
Hi RichardI read quite a few chapters of your book to get a feel for where you were headed. You have a good story to tell and one which should give hope to people in a similar situation. My assessment is that, besides the punctuation and grammar errors, the copy needs to flow more easily. Also the reader needs to know where it is all happening, something which can be incorporated easily in your story. Maybe instead of “I sat on sofa in living room”, you could say “Just as I was relaxing with a cappuccino in my London flat”. Instead of “but not to help but to harm me”, you could say “Teachers who were meant to help me, instead beat me constantly.” Chapter 3 – “I hold good and bad memories of my pastor” (instead of ‘memory on pastor’); “he made me climb” instead of “he made me climbed”. Chapter 4 – “Blossom enlightened me on infancy” could be “I was curious about my birth, so Blossom sat me down and talked about the delivery and the time that followed. Four days before Christmas in 1976, dad ran out to get the untrained midwife, Ruby.”I gave my book in the early stages to an English teacher friend of mine to ask his advice and I found it helped immensely. Perhaps you could do the same. JennyLiebling – an adventurous life view book
Hi HarryVery interesting concept for such a dark subject. Your writing style is easy and descriptive, with realistic conversations. I will come back to read more chapters as I have been drawn into the characters and storyline and would like to know how it all ends.In Chapter 2 I picked up the following edits which need fixing:The best we can do is one(not the famous ones, obviously)trillion channels in his leathersinging lessons first?'to a ball game.'My job was keeping me thereand he'd come back in the morning.I felt like a schoolboymagazines on the table,JennyLiebling - an adventurous life view book
Wonderful writing, Dianna. Very descriptive.JennyLiebling - an adventurous life view book
Iva, I am enjoying your book immensely. It is beautifully written. Can't wait to see what happens next. JennyLiebling - an adventurous life view book
Hi StuartWonderfully sad story. It does need lots of editing, but the messages are still there. It would break my heart too, to see such suffering. Hopefully your book and the YouTube video will achieve something for these animals.Good luck!JennyLiebling - an adventurous life view book
Such creative writing, Josphine. Just a couple of small edits in the Night Runner: downpour is one word and "I am quite" should be "I am quiet". Hard to put your book down. Am looking forward to reading the rest of the stories.JennyLiebling - an adventurous life view book
I had trouble following the characters, DM, but I think your story would make the basis of a good screenplay for a movie. I would agree with Raymond's comments. view book
Shirley, I had trouble sorting out what was going on in the first chapter. Maybe set the scene so we know the era (I see it is war, but which war?) and where is all this taking place? "Due to the fact" (repeated twice) and "Therefore" wording could be eliminated with better sentence construction. Due to the good comments below, I will persist and read further. CheersJennyLiebling - an adventurous life view book