I really think the title is clever-- the toys, Peter Pan, etc. The problem is: I feel like I'm being lectured. A few years ago I read a fantastic book called Confessions of an Economic Hitman. I think the reason I like it so much was because it read like fiction. One major nit: you tense shift in qu... view book

I really think the title is clever-- the toys, Peter Pan, etc. The problem is: I feel like I'm being lectured. A few years ago I read a fantastic book called Confessions of an Economic Hitman. I think the reason I like it so much was because it read like fiction. One major nit: you tense shift in qu... view book

The title: Very interesting. I like it. The pitch: My suggestion: Jill pops in out of the blue. I actually wouldn't name her, but just say make it clear Michael gets into a relationship with R's best friend. If you query this, I wouldn't end it with a question. Really, I need to know what's at s... view book

Wow! What stellar writing! You pack in so much with very few words, meaning everything is tight. From page one, we get a good sense of who Gen is (voice), what she wants, what her fears are, etc. Nice. I don't have to get into to plot and pacing and character archs, nor typos. This baby is polished.... view book

Chapter One: Overall: Very good! I like the premise. The dialogue between father and son is great. I like both of the characters – and this is coming from someone who has had an experience with the Repo Man. (He was actually very nice. Very big, but very nice). The writing is solid, but could use... view book