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I read the first chapter. The writing is crisp and unique, though some words are missing here and there. I believe you called this a biography. I kept wondering why the abuse. You are giving your view and I believe it. Did you give reasons for mistreatment or was it a domino affect from continuous abuse? Perhaps you addressed it in later chapters. I will put you on my watch list for not and read some more later.

Norma Davis, A Scorched Family view book

I read three chapters and would like to read more. Your writing is so unique and interesting, I'm wondering how you created such a character. Do you know somebody like this? This man reminds me of the "Monk", the TV character. I would only say make your paragraphs shorter, but I've noticed many writings from across the pond are like this.

It was refreshing to meet this character, enjoyed your writing and wish you the best. I'm taking you off me watch list and backing you book. Best wishes.

Norma Davis, A Scorched Family view book

David,
I recently read the Book of Revelation, asking God to reveal it's message. I feel He did. As promised, I was blessed.

I read your synopsis and it sounds interesting. Wishing you the best.

Norma Davis
A Scorched Family view book

David,

Though I don't read the likes of this, you hooked me right on. This should be in book stores. Great writing, excitement, and description. I will back you. I will appreciate a look at A Scorched Family.

Norma Davis view book

Forgot to say that I'm backing your book.
Norma
davis view book

I usually read a couple or three chapters on here, but went to chapter 8 and didn't have time to continue. This is a great, smooth read. You've done a wonderful job. The dialogue keeps the story moving and the characters are interesting. I cheated and read the last chapter. I never do that. Hopefully, it will be published and I can read it in print. I see why it is highly rated. Wishing you the best.

Norma Davis, A Scorched Family view book

Thanks again for backing A Scorched Family.

I think you have a good story here. I am also an amateur. I like details, but every tiny move distracts me. I agree with those who suggested Jill would have reacted to the break in more vigoriously. You've already heard about Jack Daniels. I'm sure you will fix it. Read it again and again. Revise again and again until it sounds right. Let it rest a few days and read it fresh, editing as necessary. This seasons a good story. I still have you on my watch list.
Best wishes.

Norma Davis, A Scorched Family view book

Lacy, This is easy reading. With first person, you really get into Honey's mind and feelings. I remembered my teenage years as an introvert. I feel for teenagers. They need youth groups and support. Many are like Honey. It depends on how close the individual is to God.

I only had time for chapter 1, but glanced through the rest. Not wanting to be nit-picky, I did find a few items in chapter 1 you might check. After elementary school you either need a period or "but" after the comma. Your run-on sentence could be made into two with a period after "middle school". Although I .....
You might also say "Other than a few girl friends, I made sure no one knew me.

Thought that was a good sign? Change the ? to a period.
Dad is always in his den would sound better as a new sentence..
You are usually in HER room or YOUR room? Not sure.
You were a cheerleader too .... delete the quoates

I think teenage christians need to read this. They can relate to Honey's feelings.

I will rate Honey Sweetheart high and keep you on my watch list until I can move you to my shelf. It will be soon.\\

When you can, a look at A Scorched Family is greatly appreciated.
Norma Davis view book

Dianna, Your writing flows with beautiful description and characterization. I read the first two chapters and will read more as soon as I can. I kept searching for the plot, but, reading the comments, it seems to begin in chapter 4. There seems to be a lot of back story, though it was quite interesting. A story of faith is good for all of us, though I agree with the comment listing scripture showing our faith is secue in Christ. Merging this concept would enhance the spirituality part. One other small thing... editors might question the length. I've read publishers like 75,000 to 100,000 words. I will shelf Nothing But the Blood. It's a great book. view book

I enjoy your writing. Though fantasy is not my type of reading, you hooked me through three chapters. I had to stop when the people disentigrated before Chris, smothering him to death. In this genre, I see a best seller. Wishing you the best. I will shelf The Revealing. view book

You might want to check Ch 3, paragraph 4 -- a typo. Otherwise very good reading so far. view book

I like all the details. Writing in first person puts us in Joey's shoes. I feel his innocence and anxiety of not seeing his mother and leaving with strangers. I'm backing this book and want to read more. view book

I was only going to read one chapter, but read two. I have to read more. This is written so well and the story has me hooked. Great, great book. view book

I love reading fast-moving, simple,writing enhanced with excitement and great characters. I read two chapters and part of Chapter Three of The Palace of Wonder.. This is great writing. I liked how the fat guy had such a distinct personality (perhaps for obvious reasons). I liked the way he often replied with mmmmm. I've known people like that. This is really good. I backed your book even though I usually don't read this type. It's an exciting story -- a page turner.

Thanks for your comments on A Scorched Family. Your remarks are greatly appreciated.

I read a lot of successful author interviews and how they write. I recently read where successful author James Patterson (writes fast moving mysteries) attributes his success to keeping his story constantly moving, changing, exciting. He won't let his readers get bored. I felt that way about your book and perhaps that's why mine has so much action. The trick is keeping the main story together and I really concentrate on that.

Your book should be published. I backed it.
Norma (Luvfiction) view book

Charity,
Thanks for backing A Scorched Family. I also backed your book but now because you backed mine. We didn't even agree to swap, but I always check people out that back my book.

I started reading Chapter One of your book and thought, 'Oh my goodness, that's me twenty years ago.'. I was so stressed with working full time, juggling three kids in school, you know the bit .... the dreaded house and what to have for supper and rush rush rush -- never getting things done. I was overweight (but not extremely). Isn't it noticeable how few people write about overweight women? I'm glad you did. I knew for sure my house was the only unkept one in America. So I had an inferior complex big time, and although my husband loved me, he could really stress me out sometimes with his temper and refusing to help with the house. "That's women's work," he said. I've had all those thoughts in chapter one. Like -- several years into my marriage (I've been married 44 year now) It hit me in the face -- "If I don't do it , it won't get done. Help!! Life mellows as you get older -- things calm down.

Defining Moments must be printed. I steal time away from reading here to work on another chapter of A Scorched Family, so I don't get to read as much as I like. I want to read all of your book when I have time. Hope it gets published.

Thanks again,
Norma view book

I usually only have time for one chapter since I'm writing on my own book. I love this chapter and want to read all of it. The setting -- the characters -- the background -- it a pleasent read. I'm backing your book.

Norma,
(A Scorched Family) view book

I believe I promised to read part of your book and I apologize for waiting so long. To my regret, usually one chapter is all time will allow. The story is interesting. A lot of good description and believable characters. I like the way you display character's thoughts. I didn't realize this is from the UK until a few paragraphs. Seems like some run-on sentences, but perhaps that's a UK trait, compared to American writers. You caught my interest right away and I wish I had time to read to the end.

I wish you success with this endeavor.

Norma (A Scorched Family) view book

I read through Chapter Three. This family has a lot of complications and, witnessing a few family divorces over the years (not mine thank goodness), things get pretty nasty and complicated. You describe their "dirty laundry" effectively. I like the way you have three scenes at one time. I really like your choice of words -- descritions -- people's thinking, etc. Haley's scars may be addressed in a later chapter, but I was curious. Sorry, I have so much to read and I'm still writing on my own book, don't have time to read it all. Maybe I'll see it in print in the future.

I'm going to back your book.
Norma view book

I read Chapter One and will read the rest when its not so late. This is very descriptive and I like how you show everyone's feelings. I like the story also. It moves right along and is nudging me to Chapter Two. I can see all sorts of things happening. I like the way you show three point of views.

Just a couple typos:

Lately he'd been treating her like she a roommate, not a wife. (like a roommate or however you want it to read).

She wanted those feeling back. (feelings with an s)

Will read more later.

Norma


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