I don't know what's "raw" about the book, other than the license you take on the Lincoln's dialect, it all seems a familiar story. Your writing is good, and at the beginning very good. I enjoy the voice from the executive office. I don't know why you would give such a "country" accent to Mr. Lincoln... view book

Chris, I think that your story is very moving and quite engaging. But it will be hard to share your story when there are editing and grammatical problems. I understand your dyslexia, but also know you have realized these problems and have surely, by now, either learned to cope with them or find ways... view book

I find your story interesting and engaging. Certainly, it makes you want to read more. But there are things missing in the story, like filler information that would make the transitions in scenes and between scenes easier and make the story flow better. I like your writing, although as an American I... view book

Only read the first chapter, it seems to go on about nothing. Not quite sure what the plot is or where it starts. No suspension, no tension, nothing leading to anywhere, it seems. I do agree about a lot of commas, but not the "grossly excessive" use of them. I think the story should have a point, th... view book

This is a very cute story. I hope that it will have illustrations with it. I find that even though you use big words there are not out of reach for a child to learn. Perhaps a small glossary at the end. I do think that you should start out with a setting. Letting the children know that it is in Afri... view book