I found this addictive reading and after two chapters could not decide if the main protagonist was really a woman, ie writen by a woman, or indeed if any of this was real. The writing is very good and this is very good chick lit too. view book
This is good stuff; a powerful and interesting testimony, with clear cut definitions of the Christian faith. The pitch drew me in and kept me reading. view book
This is a clever plot and an intelligent read, the writing is polished too. A book of our times, it reminds me of one of those films where various separate individual’s lives coalesce, to make a mind expanding experience, like ‘The Player’ for example, yet this is different and unusual in its own right – most interesting, and would no doubt make a great movie, I would love to see that happen. So many films today are unimaginative, whereas this story has enough imagination and novelty about it to make it a prime candidate for such. I wish the author every success. view book
DMR view book
This is technically well written and the intriguing plot, outlined in the pitch, delivers as suggested. Darkly Kafkaesque in style, the writer clearly displays their intentions and skill through a plot narrative that is psychologically driven. Although this did not do it for me, it’s a case of it’s me not the writer and the genre this is for should attract a following on here in its own right. There is a real human depth that emanates from the main character too, which adds to the books over all worth. A well thought out piece. view book
Assume away: http://www.s8int.com/water2.htmlAlso, coincidentally (if you believe in coincidence) I have just had another author here message me about his book that also contains mention of Atlantis: http://www.authonomy.com/books/43372/the-dark-days/ BTW I can't message you as you bared that facility. view book
Having had an interest, and studied Atlantis your premise is of interest and is indeed plausible, thus a great idea as a backdrop to a book; the pitch certainly drew me in. Might be an idea to explain a bit more clearly the idea behind the doppelganger? Also to make the writing in the body of text a little bigger, (minor point, but can help). Your English seems good. Pleasure to make you acquaintance and I hope you enjoy your time here. view book
I really like the quirky premise of this book and it is delivering to some degree. Would have liked to read more and or have gotten to Ireland sooner. Characterisation developed nicely and added to an intimate feel, and with the promise of something mysterious to hook the read at the start, left me wanting to get to that bit. Try to avoid the large jumps between titles and paragraphs etc and make the writing a little bigger while the chapter headings etc a little smaller. Up load more if you can. view book
If you get this message please come back to AUTHONOMY :o) view book
This is a great read, Clive has a skilled and economical use of words, and this reads like a classic thriller from the outset. It is very enjoyable especially the airy Mediterranean feel it has mixed with mystery. Adam De-ThurstmanIs Israel Real? view book
Hi Vicky, I mean Becky no wait Victoria or is it Chewy? I quite like the fast paced introverted start, it did hold me. I would suggest just making the writing a little bigger for those hard of seeing (small thing but can help). Please specify which bit of the East end, it’s not all a shithole and it would be good to know where the character is referring to, unless she is just being unilaterally rude, either way the voice of Chewy is excellent and is very real. I see this is still in quite a ‘raw’ state, and a good edit can either be bought on line or you need to knuckle down to it, I find reading out loud helps.Hope this helps, and you enjoy your time here. Adam De-ThurstmanIs Israel Real? view book
I see what you mean our books are at either end of the spectrum, mine’s all about the ‘Holies of Holies’ and yours is all about the ‘holies of holies’ :o) The voyeur in me kept me reading and your crisp fluid writing prevented me from stopping, I found the explanation about how you got into it all very interesting, and so will others, but once I got to the ‘juicy bits’ I felt like I was reading a list of various sexual actions that if I was a bit younger may have held my curiosity, but now it may as well be a list of gymnastic moves, hence I only read chapter 1, however your book is in a very popular genre and I can see this doing very well. You clearly have great control over your writing and I wish you all the best on here. Adam De-ThurstmanIs Israel Real? view book
Good news! Your career as a writer is waiting for you. Writing and concept wise, you have clear skill and talent, if it’s this good at your fist attempt, God only knows how much better you will get, but don’t get tempted to rest on your laurels just yet, as at least 80% of the work after writing a book is getting it published and marketed successfully, however I think you should find this easier going than most. I have only read a bit so far and although not my cuppa tea, it’s plainly brilliant. One if the best books I’ve come across here. Well done, 6 stars.Adam De-ThurstmanIs Israel Real? view book
You have done well in your re-editing in your time off here, the comments reflect that, excellent dialogue, pitched at the right level for you target audience, good characterisation too. I can’t find fault. Read to chapter 3. Well done, I feel you have worked hard on this. The very best of luck to you. High stars.Adam De-Thurstman Is Israel Real? view book
Say ‘The Island of Male’, in the Maldives. Sounds better as I found it confusing, like it could be eluding to a man you had met, or were with? Although I did guess it was most likely a place. Avoid large gap between lines. When you hit the glass with your trolley tell a bit more about the scene and your thoughts/feelings at the time, it’s a good ‘scene’, expand on it.Explain what a dhoni is for those not familiar.You have a great & clever sense of humour.‘Flex assorted gutturals’ is too literary for my taste, perhaps; ‘squealing and howling in fear of drowning’?‘the waiters feel the need to walk past my table, a lot.’Your book reminds me of mine early on before I gave it more ‘flesh’, adding the bits in between to help explain more things, like: thoughts, feelings, sights, sounds, people, what things looked like etc. However, I still sometimes get told to add more but usually from those who think its fiction, but I have just about striped my memory banks of my time in Israel and anything I have left isn’t really relevant to my story. I suggest trying to do the same with yours, adding whatever you can to make it less ‘jumpy’. However over all I really like it so far, you have an interesting story to tell and I can see you can tell it in an interesting way, your best asset I think is your humour, use that more, as a writer you are allowed to add funny thoughts after the event even if it didn’t come to mind at the time. Keep going, its early days but you have the makings of something people will want to read, you just need to keep polishing. Please explain who Tony and Edward are. Avoid abbreviation.It gets funnier; your 3rd person detached perspective on one’s younger self is brilliant.You remind me of me; that’s scary. I can imagine the real life book we could write if we got together, now I’m petrified. view book
Love your voice the depth and verve you pushed and pulled me with was wonderful. Using the term ‘New Girl’ is a great touch, but don’t repeat it too often or it loses its power. Your punctuation and grammar seem fine to me (although I’m not hot on that stuff) and it all flowed lovely. There are a few unnecessary jumps/gaps between lines. Your dialogue is really nice as are your ruminations or musings. Very skilled you have a great style all of your own. Made me laugh and smile. Love you’re poetic turns. A few changes to consider, but the rest of chapter 1 was perfect IMHO:Chipped lino on the kitchen floor.Nowadays Tablecloth ‘Anything, Dad. Says anything.’ Not sure what you meant, but it might just be me?Adam De-Thurstman Is Israel Real? view book
I too like the concept, I feel you could ‘ham’ up the initial opening manuscript a little, just to raise the tension a bit, like shock and awe, it must really grab the reader, I feel you have the right concept to do this but it might benefit from more punch; image the opening to the biggest block buster ever, the secret of Mankind’s origins revealed, and all that Justine (I’d prefer a more female sounding name personally, played by Jody Foster preferably) has to do is now go all over on an adventure to get to the truth etc. That said may be I have fundamentally gotten something wrong here, in which case I’ll shut up. But I really like the idea. Welcome to Authonomy.Adam De-ThurstmanIs Israel Real? view book
This is extremely pleasurable to read, it possessed me with a comforting feeling that I could only discern was from the skill of the authors choice of particular words putting me at my easy, no tension, even with the scene about Lily’s hair nightmare. I’ve only watched Catherine Cookson’s made TV films but imagine this is similar to read? Typo in pitch: sixteen years old. But I didn’t see anything in the book, it read really smooth. Is Israel Real?Adam De-Thurstman view book
This is very well written, with believable dialogue and characters that are on the fringe of society. So real it makes me think the author has live within that shady and interesting world. Is celebrity plural in the pitch? ‘An ex-celebrity’s personal slave’. Either way the English seems excellent to me and it reads very smoothly. AdamIs Israel Real? view book
The writer of this book it is very clever and I wish them the very best of luck.AdamIsrael? view book