hi bob, giving you a helping hand-backed-no favour to return. just one line, early doors, rankled a little-basis of his gut feeling alone-sole basis of his gut feeling. just a thought view book

hi paul, inky and myself tend to like the the same stuff, so after reading her thread, i thought i'd give you a quick look. just read chapter 1 and will be back for more soon, hopefully. a few little points i thought might make it a little snappier. her efforts were to no avail-her effor... view book

hi josh, sorry i'm crazy busy at the moment, but here's my initial thoughts. just two more minutes..........read like justin was thinking it........consider putting thoughts in italics. to be honest i'm not sure i saw the relevance of the classroom scene and would be tempted to start with t... view book

great pace and dialogue and is getting a place on my shelf. best of luck view book

hi jilly-soz i'm a little late. i'm backing your ingenious and entertaining story. nitpicks- buildup..........build-up....? natalie (herself changed. She) lost............i don't think you need the words in brackets. best of luck view book