Avatar for ella's heartstrings

ella's heartstrings

rank: 3320

Last week's position: 3433

first registered 30.04.11

last online 41 days ago

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about me

Don't send me a message and ask me to read yours. I'm busy writing and have friends who have asked me to read theirs, so of course they are first. I will read and back those who back mine much faster than those who just ask me to read theirs and don't read and back mine.

I've been here before but needed to spend time on the novel. I'm back with a new opening, new name. I hope you enjoy this new start and can give me some critique on what I have posted. I will be posting more as I complete final revisions. The novel is complete, part of a 4 part series.

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latest

Jeyna Grace wrote 128 days ago

Hi, I was wondering if you could help me out :) My latest uploa....

Karen Fullerton wrote 162 days ago

Hey, Glad to hear from you. As to self publishing, yes I've looked ....

Software wrote 164 days ago

Hello Mary, Hope you are well. Maybe you would like to try out my....

jrevino wrote 234 days ago

Hello, my name is James Revino. I am the author of ‘Hollow.’ I was wo....

Karen Fullerton wrote 258 days ago

hey, don't know if I told you this or not, but I ended up changing t....

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latest

I wrote 505 days ago

You asked for a read, and I normally don't respond until after others have read mine. But today's a day of editing and distractions, so I'm allowing myself some time away and picked yours up. After beginning the read, I did something I seldom do, which is read the comments before writing my own. I ... view book

I wrote 544 days ago

I like the opening lines, but I'm confused by the prologue, not sure it's needed, not sure what's happening when ch. 1 starts. The prologue forebodes the need for a good edit through out. Commas are misplaced or are not needed. "A lone man sat, chained,"--stilted read. 'A chained man sat alone i... view book

I wrote 564 days ago

I've spent a lot of time working with and living around Hispanics who actually call themselves Mexican. They are third or fourth generation Americans who's grandparent, great-grandparents immigrated from Mexico. Many speak Spanish, but in everyday life, they don't mix the Spanish with the English.... view book

I wrote 569 days ago

ch. 1, second sentence is a run-on sentence. Like the way it starts with dialogue, moves well at this point, slows later on with a long narrative section--infodump and too much tell, need more show. Paragraph where she's walking home, discussing her home life--"...to help towards the rent etc. (al... view book

I wrote 570 days ago

This has potential to be an interesting story -- the story develops well, the characters work well together and you have given them some depth. However, the first chapter starts when they are in school -- the rest of it is all tell, too much backstory. All that information could be brought in in p... view book

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