Avatar for ella's heartstrings

ella's heartstrings

rank: 1497

Last week's position: 1537

first registered 30.04.11

last online 213 days ago

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about me

Don't send me a message and ask me to read yours. I'm busy writing and have friends who have asked me to read theirs, so of course they are first. I will read and back those who back mine much faster than those who just ask me to read theirs and don't read and back mine.

I've been here before but needed to spend time on the novel. I'm back with a new opening, new name. I hope you enjoy this new start and can give me some critique on what I have posted. I will be posting more as I complete final revisions. The novel is complete, part of a 4 part series.

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latest

tone099 wrote 32 days ago

My name is Peter Reich, special investigator to the Pope and former c....

Kenneth Edward Lim wrote 212 days ago

Ella, Thank you so much for your past comments. They've helped me ....

Cyrus Hood wrote 301 days ago

Thanks for the detailed comment regards Mark

Cyrus Hood wrote 306 days ago

Thanks I will have a look soon Mark

Cyrus Hood wrote 306 days ago

Hi Mary, I found you- I look forward to reading some of your work so....

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latest

I wrote 301 days ago

You've got a habit of showing dialogue from an individual that is followed with a long paragraph of descriptive narrative. Suggest starting a new paragraph when you start into the narrative, unless it is only one or two sentences of narrative. The narrative sections are filling in the gaps but are m... view book

I wrote 840 days ago

You asked for a read, and I normally don't respond until after others have read mine. But today's a day of editing and distractions, so I'm allowing myself some time away and picked yours up. After beginning the read, I did something I seldom do, which is read the comments before writing my own. I ... view book

I wrote 898 days ago

I've spent a lot of time working with and living around Hispanics who actually call themselves Mexican. They are third or fourth generation Americans who's grandparent, great-grandparents immigrated from Mexico. Many speak Spanish, but in everyday life, they don't mix the Spanish with the English.... view book

I wrote 904 days ago

ch. 1, second sentence is a run-on sentence. Like the way it starts with dialogue, moves well at this point, slows later on with a long narrative section--infodump and too much tell, need more show. Paragraph where she's walking home, discussing her home life--"...to help towards the rent etc. (al... view book

I wrote 905 days ago

This has potential to be an interesting story -- the story develops well, the characters work well together and you have given them some depth. However, the first chapter starts when they are in school -- the rest of it is all tell, too much backstory. All that information could be brought in in p... view book

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