Sarah:

I am proud of you for showing such bravery in putting your story here for all of us to see and to hear. I believe, strongly, that stories of child abuse in all its forms need to be boldly addressed and not glossed over. You make a great attempt to do just that.

Others on the site have already mentioned that there are issues with formatting in the manuscript. I believe these problems exist because you were writing to get the story out of you - this was your catharsis. I understand that. Now, that you have gotten through the telling of the horror, approach it as if you're reading it for the first ime. This will help you to see the errors in punctuation, grammar and sentence structure.

Your story is gut wrenching and should be shared. Someone out there needs to hear your story and see how you survived so they will have hope of survivall. I sincerely hope you take the suggestions for editing your manuscript as editing it will seriously improve its chances of being picked up by a reputable publisher.

I wish you the best with your story and your writing.

Ashara (Like Corns on My Toes) view book

Deborah, I must commend you on this effort to help the children of pastors; I only wish such a guide had existed when I was a child. The children of pastors face a difficult life, often not because of their parents, but because of the unrealistic expectations placed upon them by virtue of their birth. I hope that as you build upon this work you will also address how to handle it when one of your parents falls from grace in the public eye. That is another reality of life that has untold consequences for pastors' children - especially if they are teenagers or young adolescents.

So far, a job well done.

Ashara (Like Corns on My Toes) view book

Hello, Joanne:
I have read the first two chapters of your work, "See You in Dreamland" (not counting your letter re: the concept). I read it mainly because having 3 granddaughters,I have found that I still enjoy children's stories; also, your concept intrigued me.

The concept is good. I love tthe "I don't want to ...." scene; that brought a giggle from me, (how well I remember those days). Some of the dialogue, though, sounds more grown up and more planned - of course, it is possible, that these are precocious children. I understand that Dreamland is a work in progress, and I know well how tricky dialogue can be sometimes. Good luck with "Dreamland". I have watchlisted it for now and will finish reading the remaining 5 chapters before rating it.

Ashara (Like Corns on My Toes)

Ashara (Like Corns on My Toes) view book

What a wonderful way to bring the conception and birth of Christ into tthe 21st century for both young and old. It is truly a different take on an Old, Old story.

I like how it sounds more like a conversation than a hard-line story. The description of Joseph 'Joey' Perillo as a Jack Russell terrier was interesting - not quite the impression one gets of him rom the Bible - where he's portrayed as one who shuns trouble and attention. But, then, as you so aptly pitch this: it is a new take on and old story.

You have simplified what is for many, a challenging story. I applaud your efforts. Good luck with this entertaining work.

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Hello, Cait:

WOW! WOW! STUNNING! PROVOKING!

I read up to chapter 11. I was enthralled. The emotion, the realness, your use of dialogue - so life-like. You have an incredible gift. I hope this gets published. Whatever you don't, don't stop until it is. WOW! view book

Okamoto: this is heavenly. The lyricism, the fluidity of language, of scenes. I almost don't have words to properly describe the impression your wrting makes. It's like watching a ballet, a great opera: before you know it, you are caught up in the nuances, the tiny gestures, the movement, the sound.

Wherever you are, I hope you return to the site; give us some more of yourself, your characters. This book must be shared outside of authonomy.

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Ms. Hall-Crews:

This is story-telling; story telling at its best. The flow is easy. It's like sipping cool sweet tea, sitting on the porch, legs dangling off the edge as you listen to a good story. It reminds me of summers, spent as a child, in Alabama .

The characterizations are more like watching a good movie: plot and characters pull you in - even when it is a simple plot. I think that is what makes this book so very good. The plot is not complex, but because of the way you build scenes, the story is so much more. It's the people, the weather, it's the rocking chair passed down through generations; it's the subtle move of Ben into the unsteady heart and mind of a naive girl who thinks she's grown and in control. So many characters - but they each hold their own without crowding the story or distracting from its development.

You and Dianna, the author of "Nothing but the Blood' have the uncanny ability to write stories that capture from the very first ine. It is impossible to put your books down (so to speak). If I didn't need sleep, I would just stay up and read the last 5 chapters - but I really must go to bed :-)))

I hope this gets published. I want to own a copy.

Ashara (Like Corns on My Toes) view book

Oh! My! Su Dan! I NEVER expected the turn this story took; I was so unprepared for the shock. Oh! My! Incredible. The only vampire book I have ever read was Anne Rice's, Interview with a Vampire. I read it when it first came out and was not yet a cult classic. Other than that, my idea of vampire stories has been the old Bela Lugosi movies (Yes, I am that old). This is truly entertaining.

I like the diary style. It allows a writer to make mistakes which can be attributed to the diary as opposed to being actual writing and mechanical errors. That opens doors for a writer and allows you to be more free with your storytelling and the presentation of the story. I made it to chapter 4 and plan to definitely read more.

A little re-working of some of the sentences and grammar and this will be a winner. I will find a place on my shelf as soon as this month's Editor's Desk run is over in 2 more days. For now, high stars and on my watchlist.

Ashara (Like Corns on My Toes) view book

Hello, Elspeth:

I don't usually read books about soldiers - any kinds of soldiers. But the title, Paragon, caught my attention.

WOW! I was drawn right in. I can see this as a movie; Oh! Yeah! Defnitely a movie.

The writing is precise; direct. The characterizations clean; conveying mystery, speaking of complexity. The scenes of murder are delivered with the precision of a gun shot: right on target. They are not overdramatized, or overly described. They are exactly as they should be for war and the distastefulness of it.

I always try to read at least 5 chapters of a book on Authonomy. There are some I have read completely. Yours, will be one of those. 5 chapters is simply not enough. Absolutely Excellent work, Elspeth. Absolutely Excellent.

Ashara (Like Corns on My Toes) view book

Wow! I was not at all prepared for the altercation with Jenny, and definitely not for it to take the turn it did: beating herself! Wow. I can't wait to see where you take this story.

Your writing is fresh. The first person narrative is an excellent way to tell this story, and you do it well.
Good luck. Please post more chapters.

Ashara (Like Corns on My Toes) view book

Elizabeth:
This reminds me of Erma Bombeck. I used to read her books while traveling to and from work. I would laugh aloud on the bus; people thought I was a nut. Sometimes I would let loose a loud, belly busting laugh. As I a reading your work, I am sniggering, laughing, smiling..... What memories. Being a woman can be its own comedy. Men have no clue what they are missing :-)))

It does need some editing - commas, missing quotation marks, small things, but the nuts and bolts are great!

On my watchlist and highly starred!! As soon as the current run for the Editor's Desk is done (in 4 days), I shall happily place this on my shelf. It deserves to win.

Ashara - Like Corns on My Toes view book

Debbie:

This is GREAT; Absolutely, GREAT! I read every chapter in one sitting. I love the lessons: family connectedness, seeing value in what is around you - even the small things; honesty & integrity, working hard, being diligent, working smart, perserverance, and yes, the truth does win out in the end. All this and so much more captured in this delightful tale. As soon as the current run for the Editor's desk is over (4 more days) I will DEFINITELY be placing Speedy McCready on my shelf.. High stars and a backing - DEFINITELY.

Ashara (Like Corns on My Toes) view book

Diana:

This is incredible. It's like watching a movie - not just reading a book. Your use of language pulls a person from the opening sentence, Each scene is clear, ripe, profound. You can feel the relationships between the brothers and the sister, Miah; the love of the parents. Their teasing, there comraderie, even their jealousy - good natured though it is, is so real. When Trace sees how his little girl is growing, resembling her mother more with the days, and the realization hits him: he's losing his little girl - that scene is palpable. It grabs yoru heart. I've only made it to chapter 5, but I intend to finish this; to savor each word. Even after Nothing But The Bood is published, I will purchase a copy and read it again. This is one I will pass on to my sons, my granddaughters, others. Oh, yeah! This is good; so good.

Ashara (Like Corns on My Toes) view book

Jori:

Today I finally began reading your work, What Every Woman Should Know. This is not a book to be read or taken lighty. This is one I want to sit down with; have highlighters at the ready, a notebook handy, mutiple versions of the Bible and other study aids all at my side. This is not just a book, this is a work. I applaud your efforts to seek out and find answers to the questions I myself have asked: chief among them - Is this what God wanted for women? I have never believed that the way so many women are treated is what God ordained. Having grown up the daughter of a minister, did not make that feeling go away; indeed, it solidified it.

I will be reading your work over the next few weeks because this is a meal of may courses, that one must take time to taste.

Ashara (Like Corns on My Toes) view book

More! I want more! Iman, this is hysterical. I would give anything to see this in a film. I can see it being freshly entertaining. I love your writing - it's real conversations and reactions; not overly done at all. Heads up, this IS a winner. When are you adding more?

Ashara (Like Corns on My Toes) view book

Uncle Marvin reminds me of my cousin Vinnie. We made him a nice suit outta cement.

Tony: OMG!!! Wow! I don't even know what to say. But you have to read the book to see how Uncle Mavin dies. Let's just say: he lived like sewage, he died like sewage!!!

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Iman:

This book sounds and reads like a day out of so many lives! I love it! Can't wait till you finish it. I just have to know where it all ends.

This is a quick read. Has lots of activity. Even her thoughts are in motion -(if that makes senseeing from New York I really enjoyed the description of the subway ride. That was priceless. I have had many of those days.

I really enjoyed the processing she goes through when she has to play Bunny Simpkins. Her impression of Pinkie Mortimer is dead on: people who are famous just for being famous (and noone ever really knows why they're famous to start with). Being fired might just be salvation.

Ashara (Like Corns on My Toes) view book

Hello, Hawk:

I have just finished reading the first chapter of your work. For the right audience, this is a story that needs to be told,. Your attention to the small details is exciting because they paint such clear pictures of Jackson. But I think more importantly, these small details allow us to see into the mind of Jackson. That is crucial to understanding his character, and hence your story. I will continue reading to see where you take us on this journey with Jackson. And, for now, I will place it on my watch list.

Ashara (Like Corns on My Toes) view book

Hi, Tony:

Have begun our reading swap; made it to Chapter 5

This is some story. I was surprised that you continued the italiciized staccato sentences from the beginning into each successive chapter. I was expecting a transition to more exposition. But this style somehow adds to your story; it gives it movement and builds the expectation. The sentences are so short, the detail just enough to pique curiosity, take you right to the brink, but not over the edge. At some points the reader is not quite certain of just what is going on or why. For instance, in the scene where you introduce Hazelnut, it is so filled with bits of detail, yet it's like a jigsaw puzzle: you know something is missing. This makes you want to read on. And read on I shall. For now, I can honestly say, Of Rust and Rain has my attention.

Ashara (Like Corns on My Toes) view book

Hello, Sharda:

I have reached the last posted chapter, #27, and I can't wait to see how it all ends. Your characters are so life-like. The evil that is Mortimer's nature comes through loud and clear. That he is capable of anything doesn't even need to be stated because it is so apparent in your characterization of him. I have thoroughly enjoyed each and every chapter to this point. I have given it 6 stars and will find a spot on my shelf very soon.

I did notice that Ganesh, Rani's keeper and handler, overehars Mortimer's verbal and physicial abuse of Cha Cha, the Russian clown; he also hears Mortimer threaten to take Ruby. Yet, once everyone is clear of the fire and folks are looking for and asking about Cha Cha, Ganesh says nothing. As a matter of fact, the only time he does speak after the fire is in response to Mr. Unusually's and Don's conversation about finally opening a circus training school; Ganesh says: You have to jump before your parachute will open." I didn't understand how he could overhear the things he did and not make that known to the others. This is especially interesting because he is portrayed as being rather wise and astute and not the typical 14-year old.

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