Crispy

Crispy

rank: 1081

Last week's position: 1053

first registered 03.12.09

last online 18 hours ago

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about me

I am a young man, with a love of science, cooking, music and the Lake District. I play guitar. My greatest love is writing comedy.

favourite books

Douglas Adams and Terry Pratchet

my websites

http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/B007CIEHP2/ref=mp_    

HarperCollins is not responsible for the content of external internet sites.

my books

Marking Time

Crispy

Dave tries frantically and hilariously to make sense, of his increasingly bizarre life as a teacher, "helped" by some very eccentric friends.


Marking Time follows a fortnight in the lives of: two young teachers; two Taoist monks, who also fit bathrooms (prices available on request); an otter addicted to Chinese food; an educational advisor with a penchant for really very sharp pencils; two arch manipulators, thoroughly enjoying their chaotic ride towards retirement, and Elvis.
Elvis is a dog.
In their search for peace and tranquillity, they encounter: an educationally subnormal dolphin; the increasingly bizarre behaviour of several school Heads (including interior gardening, sock puppetry and kangaroo chic, in no particular order); a self-help bazaar with a strict resuscitation policy (it’s frowned upon), and rabbits falling (possibly) from the sky.
The majority of this occurs around the preparation for, and implementation of a school inspection. During this, a man, known only as Staggering Bob, observes, assists (in a manner of speaking) then obliterates the main culprits of a fifteen year scam.
The resulting freedom this brings to the characters involved leads to: two resignations; the successful farewell to a blissfully challenged dolphin; the equally successful installation of a stolen bidet (using the ‘persuading hammer’), and the creation of a revolutionary lemon jam chicken burger.
And Elvis makes friends with the otter.

 

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Robert Eetheart
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latest

jennyjennifer wrote 13 hours ago

HI CAN WE BE FRIEND?S My Name is jennifer am a beautiful young g....

Michael Croucher wrote 22 hours ago

Hi, Crispy, thanks for the backing, much appreciated. Michael Crouch....

Edward Gardner wrote 1 day ago

Crispy, thanks so much for your comments and observations. Yes, the s....

Edward Gardner wrote 2 days ago

Crispy, Thanks so much for shelving The Black Dionysia - your suppor....

Charles Knightley wrote 2 days ago

Hi Crispy Thanks for the time "The Secret of Netley Abbey" was on y....

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my comments

latest

I wrote 1 day ago

Edward I am at a loss at the moment. The story appears in the first instance as a fable for children and then spins on it's axis, becoming at once dark and complex, but still with a light touch. The Swan's recounting of her story, in language so eloquent, but with a nonchalent manner; picking the... view book

I wrote 13 days ago

Hi Otter I see you have an affinity with Bernice; any relation? Thanks so much for your comments and backing. I am glad you enjoyed it...you will meet many other unusual animals as you progress, all of which are intrinsic to the English education system(?). All the best of luck Crispy It ... view book

I wrote 13 days ago

Hi Charles Thanks so much for your backing! As for what children can get away with, have you got to the chair throwing being put towards the expressive drama grade? Good luck. All the best Crispy Marking Time Crispy I found your book funny and entertaining. Although at one ... view book

I wrote 15 days ago

Hi Norman I chanced upon this whilst looking through the up and coming list; this is hilarious. I was a fan of Father Ted and this could so easily have been the prequel to that. Strong characterisation; I am imagining Father Brennan as Dave Allen, surreal and bizarely believable plot. The openin... view book

I wrote 27 days ago

Tottie Thanks so much for the poignant, human, bitter-sweet and humorous read. Introducing each character methodically and presumed by order of star-billing, was a great introduction. I liked the pet inventory and the description of Maddy and the hyperactive Meic, performing the wall of death rom... view book

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