Hi Mark, I have just read the Harper Collins review and although harsh, I think ou need to focus on the fact that it isn't for them. Perhaps the big publishers aren't able to publish books that are a bit different, such as yours. I'm sure Terry Pratchett had some trouble at the start of his writing career and we all know JK Rowling's story. I personally thought it was great and have recommended it to others as much as I can.
All the best.
Mike view book

Starshy is very well written, flows smoothly and is well-paced. I quickly read up to chapter eight and found myself engrossed in Boyd's troubles.
Well done a highly recommended read.
view book

I have read a bit further on and still a good story.
Next comes cyborg implants and flying lizards!!! Good stuff.
The only things I would improve:
- In Ch1 the font changes twice, once at Dressed in a clean brown robe... & again at "Security is not about to arrive...
- You use 'Deeps' a couple of times, I'm not sure if this was intentional: is it a profanity?
- marriage.". has one too many fullstops.
- Lastly: Arthur. We lose him after Ch1. He reappears in Ch4 for a very short time, then again in Ch6. Ashira is a great character and her story is very good, but I first became hooked into the story by Arthur and his world. Is there any way you could increase his presence in the story? For example, fleshing out the sensory playback at the end of Ch1. It is such a big deal at the end of the first chapter, then nothing. If you want to keep the details hidden, that's ok, but please tell us about the experience, the aftermath etc...
Still a great story and backed with pride.
ME Harrow. view book

I'm sorry, I've had to stop after 15 paragraphs.
I don't think any other novel I've EVER come across has crammed so much of the best in Sci-Fi/Fantasy into an opening stanza.
Hi-tech gadgets in a near-future Earth, heightened abilities in telepathy and telekinesis, hints of role-palying and a storyline that could come from the best Star Trek episode and even a skeletal hag to struggle against - what more could a fan want?
Great start, deserves 3 exclamation marks!!!
ME Harrow
(As Portents Rise an Antarctic thriller) view book

Lucky Horshu is a very well-written comedy delving into a world of fantasy complete with animals worse than dragons (I didn't think it possible) and the adventures of some very well-named, amusing characters.

My only suggestion would be to be very careful when using the names of common objects that are clearly based in reality. The story is based upon a medieval orient world that the reader can relate to, however using nouns such as poppys, oak, bamboo, New Years Eve and pandas does suggest that the fantasy is still based on Earth. When I want to be immersed in another world my escapism wants to learn about a new type of tree, a new type of bear, a new name for a drug and a new time to celebrate. Sometimes just taking a moment to describe something in a new world can really allow the reader to escape.
ME Harrow
As Portents Rise (an Antarctic thriller)
view book

Great story, right up there with the best Stephen King has to offer.
The writing is very fast and furious and I was often surprised by how fast I was going throug hit.

My only concern is your length of paragraphs. As a reader, the middle of some of your longer paragraphs are quite hard to finish, meaning I found myself skipping ahead (I know, my issue but just a suggestion).
Can I suggest trying to halve the longer paragraphs? And when speech starts during a paragraph these could be separated.
All together a great - fast paced book.
ME Harrow
As Portents Rise (an Antarctic thriller) view book

I'm hooked....
In the Beginning has a great premise with the promise of an extremely important document found in the Dead Sea Scrolls. My only qualm is that there isn't enough Chapters posted here to find out the full extent of the revelation. But if the book went on sale, I'd buy it in an instant (I am a sucker for these Dan Brown-type books).

In Ch4 you state "God was a big part...." do you really mean was? - or should that be 'is' a big part?
You may want to rewrite the following sentence - it doesn't flow well: Not having much time take part in early excavations...'
I did notice a few grammatical errors in Chapter 7.
I only mentioned ot her" - not only ot but the comma is missing before the end speech-marks
Hi, Justin." - missing opening speech-marks
situaton" - missing comma befor ethe end speech-marks
"Don't make fun of Claire, - missing closing speech-marks.

All in all a good story with enough hooks to draw the reader in, wanting to know more but always having the revelation just out of reach. A good thriller/mystery.

ME Harrow
As Portents Rise (an Antarctic thriller) view book

The Book of Aerie is a great social commentary pointing out the frailties of the current human condition.
It is a well-written book with a pitch that will draw in most eager readers.
The first-person narrative is consistent throughout and I enjoyed the narrative from a god's perspective after the fact.
One thing to perhaps change - earth the planet, should be capitalised as a proper noun.
I also recommend you break up some of your large paragraphs as they are sometimes hard to read all the way through.
Great work overall.
ME Harrow
As Portents Rise (an Antarctic thriller) view book

Lunar Dance is a well-constructed story.
This will appeal to people who love the technical side of science fiction and for those keen to understand the aerospace industry at a nuts and bolts level.
The dialogue is very believable (a major hurdle to surpass once the book makes it to the Ed's desk) drawing the reader forward. I would however caution interrupting the conversation with too many descriptions. Sometimes a conversation just needs to happen by itself.
Altogether a great and easy read.
Well done and I hope it gets published.
ME Harrow
As Portents Rise (an Antarctic thriller) view book

The Makers throws caution to the wind and dives straight into a science fiction wonderland.

The physics backing up the narrative provides the story with an air of realism seldom seen in this genre. I sense that the breakthroughs in science are just around the corner.

Daniel has been able to imagine a universe where anyhing seems possible, therefore he goes for it with a no-holds-barred attitude.

Well done.
ME Harrow. view book

The Lost Wink is right up there with the best of Roald Dahl.

I adored the opening sequence, so tender and beautiful. Then Bam!! straight into a reality of mistreatment leading to sympathy for poor Roscoe.
I have read through some of your comments and I agree that this is a very well-written story with a touch of magic.

A Pure Winner.
ME Harrow. view book

The Ghost Shirt will go down as the fastest ever book onto my bookshelf so far.

The pitch intrigued me as I adore Kathleen O'Neil and W. Michael Gear's work and I can't get enough of the Scots.

However it was the imaginative use of humour that caught my attention, along with the randomness waeving itself into the story at every opportunity.
Mouth Ulcer Monthly - quirky. Coco, Canel and Gucci - classic. I can just imagine how gloomy a penguin would be in a pigpen - hilarious.

There is a firm touch of the Durselys about the McC's, however Mr McC balances the mood nicely.
The reader is drawn to the main character by his treatment by his family. We feel sympathy and it is a good hook to read further just to read about their cumuppance.

The unseen weight is very intriguing - I need to know what it is! Must read on, only up to Ch4 and loving it.

One suggestion - can I suggest adding the melting of the North Pole ice cap in the para starting "Through the greed of mankind..? This should make the story ultra-relevant.

Good work.
ME Harrow. view book

The Dragon's Son is a great story, crammed full of action and great characters.

I especially enjoyed the tension between both pairs of brothers first in chapter 1 with the 2 old kings and again in 2 and 3.

You set Keegan up very well at the very beginning. His dislike of rejection is something every reader can relate to and we are immediatley sympathetic to this main character.

I also enjoyed the description of the many sword fights. It's very difficult to pull together such a major battle as the one in the village, but you have done it well.

Another great piece of writing is the part where Keegan thinks about the silly "love business' this clearly places his matirity at young adult. Many books on this site have a young main character but then write a very mature (almost adult) character. Well done.

One major stumbling block for me was the punctuation. The book was submitted in January 2011 and I find it hard to belive someone hasn't picked up on it yet.
- closing dialogue can have a comma before the speech marks with a lower-case letter immediately after such as ." He said should be ," he said.
- sometimes you forget the comma altogether e.g. "Yes my lord" and "As you wish"
- sometimes the full-stop is missing e.g. Torry smiled" Sorry... and Torry said "Dragon...
- Dragon Slayer sometimes loses it's capitals. Do you think this should be hyphenated?

All in all a very good story. It just needs a bit of punctuation editing.
ME Harrow. view book

John B Campbell is a great storyteller. A Lark Ascending is littered with amazing descriptions of the environs and the people within. This allows the reader to become emersed in the story; breathing in the smells and tasting the grime. Pair this with a mystery and the story unfolds easily as the protagoinist finds himself in deeper water on each page.
I have a couple of suggestions:
Ch1 Malcolm 'dived into the river. As he swam....' I really feel there needs to be a description of the river. The smell, the taste of it as it gets up his nostrils and down his throat etc....
Ch3 Malcolm is set up as not that attentive in class; therefore the following seems out of place for a 12-year-old urchin: 'Propitius beginning, Malcolm thought.' Good word, however probably not used by Malcolm.
You also don't have to have a capital letter directly after closing speech marks, even if there is a ! or ?. Therefore sentences like "I got ya!" the laugh that followed' is fine.
Great story and keep up the descriptions.
ME Harrow. view book

Ryan.
I've just finished CH7 & 8 and the story is developing well. I'm very keen to read more.
A couple of small typos:
Ch7. 'For whatever, the voice had been correct... ' this needs 'reason' after 'whatever'.
Ch8. 8 should be eight. 'Taking the man for surprise' s/be 'by surprise'.What.' by itself s/be 'What?' and 'I didn't even thing a wrench' also needs changing.
Also: I know the stadium is a place of kill or be killed, however I think in order to endear Angelo to the reader he needs some remorse when fighting the other criminals, or else he loses the connection somewhat.
Feel free to ignore if you want.
Ch9: 'creature body' s/be 'creature's body'
If you can't put an ! after 'fucking hell.' - where can you put it?
'pumping out of only my lower abdomen' isn't right. perhaps loose the 'only'
ME Harrow. view book

I adore these types of novels, therefore I must admit I am very biased (I even wrote one myself). Near future, gripping mysteries with a violent edge are just my cup of tea and Ryan delivers with an extremly easy-to-read style.

I enjoyed the changes in writing style from first to third person depending on the situation. The constant changing must have really stretched your mind. Not something many writers would even attempt - bravo on pulling it off.

I only have 2 minor corrections for you: Ch5 you write 'The stadium wasn't too away.' I fell the word 'far' should be in there. Also Ch6 'looking rather on anxious' needs to loose the 'on'.

This is a very enjoyable read. Thanks for the invite.
ME Harrow. view book

Acts of the Servant is an extremely well crafted novel.

I love all the old English words no longer seen in modern print but wonder if the following are spelt correctly: spaers in Ch1 and clingling in Ch4, but I'm probably wrong.

Wolfe is clearly you greatest asset and readers will love him the most.
I enjoyed every word, thank you for the great story.
ME Harrow. view book

Engaging.
The scenes where Danny tries to overcome his insecurities just to find and converse with Thalia are written by an expert with a great eye for detail. The reader feels Danny's pain at every turn and just when it gets too heavy, the odd bit of well-placed humour relieves the tension.
The flights of fancy into a world of chat-show-hosts adds another layer to this enthralling story - giving Danny the chance to speak where he otherwise can't.
Very good easy-flowing writing.
Only change to make is in Ch2, 4th para - change once to one.
ME Harrow. view book

Great, love it.
So easy to read, I have flown through to chapter 8 already and am loving every word.
I like tryiing to guess the fairy tale each chapter refers to, for eaxmple the Bacons in Chapter 2 and Ella later on. I'm wondering if all the chapters could be enhanced this way.
I love the humour, it is very dark but wonderfully portrayed.
Excellent work.
ME Harrow. view book

This book has overtones of Tad Williams' Otherland novels - my personal favourite. I love the tension in the story, questions are raised straight away and as an avid reader I want to think about a book instead of just getting drip-fed everything. The dialogue is well written and the descriptions aren't overly drawn out. I can really imagine the world being like this in the future which is exciting.
Well done,
ME Harrow. view book