Avatar for Benjamin Dancer

Benjamin Dancer

rank: 2199

Last week's position: 2191

first registered 06.07.10

last online 42 days ago

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about me

I’m unbelievably fortunate to be an English teacher at Jefferson County Open School in Lakewood, Colorado, one of the last high schools in the country where students still love school.

I'm also the author of The Father Trilogy, of which Fidelity is the second book. You can check out the rest of the trilogy at BenjaminDancer.com.

favourite books

Beloved, No Country for Old Men

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my comments


I wrote 1243 days ago

I'm in ch 1. Here are my notes: "...to safety" adds tension to the 1st paragraph import-export ups the tension the marshal ups it again good character building through the conversation in the SUV The details of the WPP are a great touch, high interest You leave the ch with tons o... view book

I wrote 1243 days ago

I'm in ch 1. Here are my notes: You establish good tension by showing the stress between her and Ryan. You show us her depression: hard to get out of bed, job, etc. And have us sympathizing with the betrayal. The reoccurring dream--nice touch A lot of good element to play with her. You'... view book

I wrote 1244 days ago

I'm in ch 1. Here are my notes: Interesting 1st line. Picturesque 2nd paragraph Good tension with the surveillance The tension sky-rockets with the attack Then climbs again when Toni decides to go after the killer Very strong hook of a chapter However, it's a huge mistake sw... view book

I wrote 1244 days ago

I'm in ch 4. Here are my notes: doesn't drove=drive first laying=lay great image of grandpa certain make=to make probable=probably right By the time we leave the dinner, the reader really like grandpa, the town, the people it--and doesn't care much for Sean. There's tension wi... view book

I wrote 1245 days ago

The fight in ch 1 is expertly told. The tension escalating until Bulvyf fights Maul one-on-one. A lesser writer would have done the battle in a paragraph, but you exploit every point of tension and make the reader cringe blow after blow until climax of the scene: "I am no human." By the end of ... view book

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