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first registered 05.12.08

last online 9 hours ago

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about me

I'll keep it simple: No, I won't back your book.

You're welcome to look at and comment on mine, but I won't return the favour.

If you're an agent, leave me a message and I'll "call" you back!

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The Timekeeper: Nick of Time

Tom Williams & Justin Stanchfi....

Nick Fox, a fourteen-year-old boy, accompanied by a time machine with attitude, on an adventure without limits.

When Nick Fox tinkers with a strange device, he transports himself four hundred years into the future, a ruined future in which humanity has regressed to a pre-Industrial level. Nick then becomes the Timekeeper, charged with the duty of ensuring the Timeline is not compromised by rogue time travellers.

Only Nick and his new friend Wendy, a girl from the 25th century, can stop the rogues changing the future. But keeping the Timeline intact means both Nick and Wendy might lose loved ones forever.

Ranging from the last Ice Age to the 25th century, with many stops in between, Nick of Time is a fast-paced story, complete in one volume of 45,000 words.



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TomW wrote 1131 days ago

In case it's not clear on my profile. No, I won't back your book.

Adelie High wrote 1137 days ago

Pleasant dreams. Speak soon, Addy

Adelie High wrote 1137 days ago

I'm well, thanks. You?

Adelie High wrote 1137 days ago

Hello Tom.

stillshakydave wrote 1138 days ago

Tom, I read your comment to Karen after I posted mine and saw we ....

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my comments


I wrote 1532 days ago

Prologue... Maybe a bit long, but not too bad. Consider swapping a few of the "she's" for Karen. It felt like nearly every sentence began with "she", though perhaps you were aiming for that effect. Chapter 1... I don't think you need italics AND a ' for thoughts - pick one or the other. ... view book

I wrote 1543 days ago

Comments on Chapter 1... What I like about this is the original setting and character. The shaman prologue is interesting. We've seen the master-servant routine before in fiction and film, of course, but there's always room for one more, especially of this esoteric kind. The only complaint I h... view book

I wrote 1548 days ago

Comments on Chapter 1... "elevate" = "alleviate", I presume. "Grisly" doesn't seem to be the right word here. "Grimacing" might be better. Ok, I think you might have a story here, but I feel it's drowning in small detail and over-writing. Look at EVERY sentence and ask yourself two question... view book

I wrote 1553 days ago

Comments on Chapter 1... Commendably efficient in the use of words. Some observations in writing, for you use or not as you see fit. 1. From the woman's pov, she wouldn't be able to see her icy blue eyes or blonde ponytails. Maybe find a more elegant way of describing her hair colour etc, i... view book

I wrote 1555 days ago

Comments on Chapter 1... This reads smoothly. You've come on, since I read your first one (which has probably moved on, since.) A couple of observations in reading... When you refer to "burn" early on, I took it to mean a literal burn, something burning through the nerves if not the flesh, ... view book

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