A very interesting read. I'm wondering if the warning order for the mission to Beliz might be a more dramatic place to start - the opening passages otherwise jump about a bit and it's hard to find the dominant thred. Good luck with this. Lindsay view book

Hi Ryan, There is a passion and a vividness to your writing that is attractive, but in terms of opening up your plot your prologue and first chapter could use some work. I'm really not sure about a prologue at sets out to tell me what you, the writer, do not know. You have a coupe of paragraphs to... view book

This book is a real eye-opener! How the world has changed! It took me a few chapters before I realised that, though there is some chronological drive to this work, each chapter is strongly themed. I'm not sure how - or indeed if it is necessary - to make this clearer. All in all this is a good rea... view book

This is super! The hound gave me some very odd looks as I chortled away while I read. When I get round to finding a computer I will back this. Lindsay A Priest's Tale view book

I love the idea of a blind hero, and of the boy's grandad trying to describe light to him, but I'm wondering if this opening chapter is a little static. There is a lot of explanation and description (though not a lot of description of how a blind lad perceives the world) but all we have of the plot ... view book