Well, thanks for backing the book! You are my first backer. Thanks for the support!
(Comments on chapter 1)Like some of the commenters below, I really like your non-purple prose. Clear, to the point, no BS. I was also slowly taken in by the atmospherics. You've chosen a great setting to describe - pre-dawn, snowy, nervous hunter. The fact that he was alone added to the atmosphere.The tension build up was great, too. Closer and closer to the target. I expected the chapter to end with the BANG of the rifle, and was a bit put off guard when it didn't. (Still the last para was the best - poetry without being purple!)I was tripped up in a couple of places - the first line "I see her track..." I wasn't sure for a while what to make of that and I found myself going back several times, trying to understand. Took me out of the flow of the story. Maybe more detail to ease the reader into the story? "I see her tracks. There is one print just at my feet, and they curve away, across the field..."Anyway, good job, fun to read!
'love the way the main character talks so directly to the reader, even questioning them. I've been waiting for a 'Now, sit up straight and listen carefurly to this here bit.' Flows well. So many amusing touches, starting with God being five miles down the road.Warm regards, Farrold Saxon (Where-Stand-All)
Thanks, Farrold - I appreciate your interest and your feedback. That's really why I'm here!But I'm new here so I'm wondering - any suggestions as to how to work within this web site?
Dear Will, I love how you talk in your pitch :) - it must be the Texas drawl. :) Your pitch & your prologue well prepared me for the city of God. :) I actually laughed out loud when I got to the end of chapter 14, "Splat!" What a good writer, you are!! :) I knew it was going to be good when I read your pitch & prologue & most certainly was not disappointed. :) Most of all, I love the "Yee-Haws" across the page. :) I have read, commented on, & put your book on my watchlist to back when space opens on my bookshelf. :) I have also ****** 'd you book :) - could you please ****** & back my memoirs book in return? :) Thank you from the bottom of my heart. :) Love, Susie :) p.s. every ****** 'ing & backing moves our books closer to the editor's desk :)
Wow - thanks for the quick reply! I really appreciate your comments. I'll be looking into your memoirs as soon as I get my bearing in this new environment.Thanks again!