so i emailed more thorough line edits for chapters 32-36 and wanted to give some overall impressions. your narrative is strong. your physical descriptions are specific and original and ground the reader. the section with eric was great- a believable voice and you build suspense well here. y... view book

i just read your first chapter. the dialogue of the chatty stranger flows and keeps my attention. just when i start getting antsy for a visual cue, you give me the train station. best line ever: unwanted social interaction is its own specific brand of violence. i relate to this as someone who fe... view book

sometimes i do things backward around here- i back a book for a while before i get around to commenting. i liked your first line and the opening scene was definitely a good way to start, showing that your mc is complicated and flawed and interesting. your description of the nose bleed was viscera... view book

i was drawn in by your pitch but found your prologue a bit disorienting. you start with a big chunk of dialogue without giving any context. as the writer, you can visualize what's going on, but i can't. i skipped ahead to your first chapter and found two scenes opening much the same. it seemed (to ... view book

yep. i'm thinking this is better. did you change the description of the mistake he made? i liked it. i still don'[t totally understand what happened, but i'm pretty sure it's my own fault. i think to explain it in a way that i['d be able to visualize it, you'd have to actually draw me a picture or ... view book