victoriapendar recent comments

written 1096 days ago
cherry

I love this and will make room to support this one. I'd buy this book. view book

written 1112 days ago
cherry

I love the idea of this book, and the set up. She believes in God. He believes in humanity. In truth if I was in a store, I'd flip to the last chapter just to ensure it didn't sound preachy one way or the other. But I'm not in a store so I go on faith here that the end is as interesting at the beginning.

Then the military with the sort of invasion that takes place (and I mean physical landing.) This could be epic! view book

written 1112 days ago
cherry

This is such an interesting concept. It's much better than a recent movie I saw. Good job. And I was liking Michael so I can see why the wolf will too!!! (I only read to Chapter 3.) view book

written 1112 days ago
cherry

I enjoyed this book. The end of WW2 really stirred me on a personal level. The Japanese sank my Grandfather's warship during the war, so I never met him. Other family was at Pearl Harbor. World War II in many ways created me. So your chapter had a personal stirrings in me. (And I'm not hating. I feel for Japan right now as I type away on my Sony.) So I knew immediately that I was reading a prologue as your title is North Korea. A child not understanding of government wars and politics is a great way in.

This book is current, relevant, and makes me think. Very enjoyable! view book

written 1112 days ago
cherry

I enjoyed reading the first few chapters. And you published it! Amazing. Yeah. You captured a Star Trek BattleStar Galactica fan girl to check this out. When I buy my kindle on Friday I'll check you out. view book

written 1112 days ago
cherry

It's very good. You are a born storyteller. I get the setting. I like the description. And you have a feel for dialogue. It's one of the better stories out here. But you have to free your dialogue. I'm taking a class on this starting tomorrow, so I am still learning. But you don't need to tell us who is talking in every line. It can't be so free that no one knows who is saying what. You have responded so often though that it's pulling me out of the read, disconnecting me. (And who doesn't love the Western backdrop?) view book

written 1112 days ago
cherry

It's very good. You are a born storyteller. I get the setting. I like the description. And you have a feel for dialogue. It's one of the better stories out here. But you have to free your dialogue. I'm taking a class on this starting tomorrow, so I am still learning. But you don't need to tell us who is talking in every line. It can't be so free that no one knows who is saying what. You have responded so often though that it's pulling me out of the read, disconnecting me. (And who doesn't love the Western backdrop?) view book

written 1113 days ago
cherry

Evocative writing style. Very enjoyable read. Trust the readers a bit more though and let go of repeating. Gina's name for one is everywhere. Trust that the readers remember it. Also develop the character. Let her words speak without direction, and open up the dialogue. Overall a fantastic well polished novel! view book

written 1114 days ago
cherry

I'm drawn in with Chapter One and curious. view book

written 1114 days ago
cherry

I still have so much to read here but I'm enjoying this so much that I backed it. I don't back most books that I read, but yours had me smiling. So hats off to you. view book

written 1114 days ago
cherry

Title:Is it overused/too cliche?I love your title. The moon has me thinking about emotions and tides that it controls.
Plot: You are very much someone who has a purpose, but getting there needs to be refined and edited. Right now I'm in the this is what happens then this then this feel. Relax and show me more. (I have this issue too!)
Pacing: This is what needs the most improvement. The chapters were choppy and not fluid
Characters: June and Eric are both alive and you did a good job ere.
POV: Is it clear? Confusing? Is there one or many being used, and if so is it working?
Sentence structure: This is my worst subject. I saw nothing overt. However there might be a million grammar things that I missed.
Dialogue: You need more.
Originality: very good and you are obviously a born story teller. But I hope you are the type to chop things up too, like the pagan ceremony at the beginning. American audience won't buy that en masse if you intend on selling. There may be a niche but I can't see Grandma anyone enjoying the ceremony in and of itself. I am ONLY mentioning this as a Possibility and not suggesting anything.

You need to show and edit more. And hey I'm the last to complain as I need the same thing. Overall your plot and characters all rate. Now it's the pacing to really get the story out. I would love to see the finished project. view book

written 1114 days ago
cherry

The story is good and very descriptive. And you have an amazing story. Some of it gets lost in repetition in the prologue. The name of the setting is less important than the setting itself. Bring me gently into this world and then amaze me. I had the feeling that you went for amazement first. Don't get me wrong at all. I love this story. Keep up the amazing work. (I don't have your descriptive talent.) view book

written 1114 days ago
cherry

The story is good and very descriptive. And you have an amazing story. Some of it gets lost in repetition in the prologue. The name of the setting is less important than the setting itself. Bring me gently into this world and then amaze me. I had the feeling that you went for amazement first. Don't get me wrong at all. I love this story. Keep up the amazing work. (I don't have your descriptive talent.) view book

written 1114 days ago
cherry

You need a good edit, cutting the ex boyfriend memories and sticking to current actions. What is Emily doing? Is she pulling her hair out? Locked herself in a closet? Digging her nails into her skin, etc. Describe her actions more which is hard in a first person POV.

But great story. I love happy endings after some emotional trials. And I'm looking forward to this!!! view book

written 1115 days ago
cherry

Can I be completely honest. This could be a great read though you need to edit. Drop most of the first chapter completely. Starting a book with a man complaining about waking up and a hang over is too much, too soon. Ease into this lifestyle later. Start with the mannequin and the set up for it. And ditch the gloomy teen unless she's important later. A man walking in dismissing his birthday and upset that he's older than most of the staff works fine.

I like the story. I enjoy your main character and can't wait to continue reading. But ease me into Stephen. Otherwise you might frighten away the casual reader who just might LOVE your writing. view book

written 1116 days ago
cherry

Your description is lucid and evocative. I love it. The dialogue needs work to be authentic. Too much description can bog down or make the dialogue that's down seem more obvious out of tune. Also the pacing of the plot might be amazing or too slow, but after Chapter One I'm unsure what's going on. I can usually peg a book based on the first chapter, but you didn't leave me many clues. I'd read a few more chapters as a normal reader hoping for the clues before I put it down completely, but I enjoy insights. And I was missing the character insights of Jason, something I desperately want in any character.

Doens't mean I don't love this. I totally love your story. In fact I'll keep reading just because. view book

written 1124 days ago
cherry

Please cut Angel's entire back story. It's unnecessary to the plot. The plot is exciting, but the weight of it's pulling your story down. If her back story is so important have her explain it in dialogue later on. But cut it down!!!

I love this story, but I want to get the meat out from all the boring cut up lettuce you put on the first chapter. We're supposed to know everything about our characters. Don't switch to her POV and go into back story. Stick with getting off the plane.

I'll do a full review later, but this really jarred me. view book

written 1128 days ago
cherry

The beginning... just drop it. Work it in somewhere later if you must, but it can dropped as backstory. Start with arriving on his doorstep. The story could be great. I love nanny stories in Regency. Stay focused on the couple, unless it's not a romance. I don't need her prior life just yet.

Great premise. I'll keep reading. view book

written 1129 days ago
cherry

Wonderful world building. Chapter One has me intrigued. It takes me a while to warm up to fantasy as LOTR tortured me. But this could be a good one. I'll keep reading.

One thing I do love is internal struggles of my hero. It makes them root for them. So I'm hoping this comes up. view book

written 1129 days ago
cherry

I am putting this on my watch list to read soon. I like the premise and first paragraph. It's all I got right now. But I'll be back. I grew up in the Trek verse, and general sci fi. You're hitting on my first loves. view book

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