This is an absorbing read; you have a natural direct style of writing (though it needs an edit) and the story you tell is riveting. Have you submitted it to Harper True? If I were scouting for that imprint, I'd be interested, in spite of the fact that it would need to be twice the length for publica... view book

You have been gifted, it seems to me, with the ability to tell a story simply and so effectively the reader just has to keep turning the pages. This overrides any small faults; the book has an energy and life of its own. (I'll back it when I next change my shelf.) view book

Nothing wrong with the story, but you've chosen a dull way to tell it. And TELL is the word; the first chapter is nothing but. What you need is SHOW. Imagine your story playing out like a film before your eyes, and describe what you see - dialogue will help, and don't feel you have to explain everyt... view book

An appealing pitch, and a first chapter that drew me in effortlessly. view book

Come on, Niko, give your writing a chance - break it up into paragraphs like a real book. Also, the first chapter is all your narrator telling us things. Think of your book as a film; would you like a film where the first ten minutes consisted of the hero facing the camera and telling you about ... view book