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Last week's position: 364

first registered 15.07.11

last online 30 days ago

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about me

Many, many thanks to all you wonderful people who supported me to the desk for the 4th time - you're aces!

About us:

I am a rather fat Buddhist who likes playing bridge with little old ladies and writing silly stories about cats.

Madge is a rather more svelte academic who likes cheese, cheap deals at Asda, and films about women in East European satellite states.

Frank and Madge x

NOTE: I have had to stop using my pen name of Joe Kovacs owing to another Joe Kovacs now posting books on Amazon, grrrr!


Also on Amazon: GINGER THE GANGSTER CAT - the story of one fat cat's devotion to Spanish cuisine. www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00AFZ2X1Y

And GINGER THE BUDDHA CAT, Sausages or enlightenment? Ginger cannot choose...

favourite books

The Wind in the Willows
Catch 22
The Siege of Krishnapur
Three Men in a Boat

Books I have enjoyed on here:

Streets Apart by Connie King
Fingerbones by Sara Stinson
A Relative Invasion by Rosalind Minett
Hit the Ground Running by Michael Jones
Mrs Maginnes is Dead by Maeve Sleibhin
Pompey Chimes by Grant David
Hens from Hell by Katina Grist Jones
Wilberforce & Grace by Pete Whoster
First Term at St Twitters by Sarah Monaghan
Trapped by Fran MacIlvey
The Words of Adriel by Joshua Jacobs
The Withering by Joshua Jacobs
Weekend in Weighton by Terry Murphy
The Existence Game by Judy Adams
Crown of Thorns by MillieC

my websites


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my books

Rupee Millionaires

Frank Kusy

Want to make a million? Be careful what you wish for...

At 35, I was a struggling travel writer with five guides in print but not enough money to pay the rent. Then I met the Colonel in India.

"You should try business, Frank!" said the Colonel. "It would be a most spiritual experience!"

Spiritual or not, he was right. Five years on, I was the foremost wholesaler of hippy-Hindi glad rags in the UK. But at what cost? Along the way, I lost my hair, my house, my girlfriend, my Buddhist principles, and very nearly my sanity.

The problem was my business partner, Spud. A borderline psycho with just one aim in mind – to become a rupee millionaire. With a million, he believed, people would forget he was a small fat plumber from Peckham and women would flock to his cash and shag him senseless.

But then, as he devolved into craziness and his dreams of world domination began to fall apart, he found a new reason for living.

He wanted me dead.


He ain't Heavy, He's my Buddha....

Frank Kusy

Frank discovers he is fat quite by accident...and embarks on a drastic course of Buddhist self-improvement. Starting with Fatbusters.

Frank is the worst Buddhist in the world, hopelessly addicted to sausages and hurtling towards a mid 'previous-life' crisis. One day, as he sits down to play cards with little old ladies, he discovers he is fat. 'How did it come to this?' he moans to himself and sets about mending his ways...starting with a trip to FatBusters.

'He ain't Heavy, He's my Buddha' is just one of a dozen or so stories in my new anthology of the absurd. Time-travellers, bad Buddhists, headless horsemen, Polish plumbers, Muhammed's cat, little piggy home-owners, and partially-sighted mice - what more could you want?

Cover art by Paul R.Duffy
Design by Anna Donovan


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leave me a message

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evermoore wrote 5 days ago

Hey, Poppa Joe...just wishing you and your lovely wife a beautiful sp....

fledglingowl wrote 17 days ago

Joe, Thanks for your kind review and encouragement. Made the publish....

vanderlove wrote 22 days ago

Dear Winner This is to inform you that you have won prize money o....

J.Adams wrote 23 days ago

Hi Frank (It looks like we're back to Frank again, eh?! I like Frank ....

Michael Jones wrote 30 days ago

Thanks, mate. I'm making notes for the rewrite.

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my comments


I wrote 31 days ago

Hi Mick, just read all your posted material, wow this is great - BIG improvement on previous version, well done! Okay, it took me a little while to get into the story - had difficulty visualising the corpse hanging in chap one, did I have a senior moment, was it burnt out of recognition or slashed t... view book

I wrote 232 days ago

Hiya Maeve, this is the first reading I've done on Autho in over two months, and I was not disappointed! Tuned into chapter 9 by Judy Adams, I can honestly say I haven't laughed so much in ages! This chapter is an absolute riot, with so many excellent one-liners that I was spoiled for choice. 'I spe... view book

I wrote 303 days ago

Very well written, and educational too - I can see kids lapping this up (though agree about the need for illustrations). I particularly liked the 'Boring' town that gave birth to halva, lol. High stars and wishing you well with this. Joe Kovacs A Marriage made in Chemical Heaven view book

I wrote 312 days ago

Hi Peter, just dropping in for that read I promised you (have you really had no comments for 240 days? have you recently reloaded a new version?) Let me just say that this is very superior historical fiction, I've read a lot of it on here and you really should be proud, it's really engaging stuff an... view book

I wrote 313 days ago

Now what does this remind me of? A wild, raw, unapologetic Welsh-style voiceover like in Trainspotting, an even wilder and more hysterical Johnny Depp voiceover like in Fear and Loathing, or even a psychedelic version of Three Men in a Boat? No, none of these actually, nor even the occasional nod t... view book

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