Karen, Thank you so much for giving my first chapter a read! I will certainly apply your suggestions to my book. I love the synopsis of Isabel. It reminds me of The Princess and the Goblin. The first chapter tells me that it's no reason your book is number 1 right now. It's so clean, crisp and tight. It's beautifully written with poetic images woven throughout, but not at the extent of altering the story's flow. The unicorn feels real and mysterious like Isabel is really observing it and taking mental notes of its actions and trying to figure out if it really is what she thinks it is. The Isle of Somnus is wonderfully described and I feel like you've given us just enough information about this world to carry us forward into your sweeping epic. I love that it's for children - it is indeed soothing as a lullaby. I wish I had criticism to offer you, but I'm afraid your book, just telling from the first chapter, is only missing a cover and a contract! view book
Karen, Thank you so much for giving my first chapter a read! I will certainly apply your suggestions to my book. I love the synopsis of Isabel. It reminds me of The Princess and the Goblin. The first chapter tells me that it's no reason your book is number 1 right now. It's so clean, crisp and tight. It's beautifully written with poetic images woven throughout, but not at the extent of altering the story's flow. The Isle of Somnus is wonderfully described and I feel like you've given us just enough information about this world to carry us forward into your sweeping epic. I love that it's for children - it is indeed soothing as a lullaby. I wish I had criticism to offer you, but I'm afraid your book, just telling from the first chapter, is only missing a cover and a contract! view book
Wow! Wow! The short pitch alone grabs me!! Being an aspiring history buff and a lover of other worlds, this short pitch grabbed me!! Now I'm kind of upset I could find no corrections for your long pitch. What can I say? It works. It grabs me. I would be disappointed if you weren't in the top 100 by the end of June. You have a great premise. I will say that I can see that our spiritual beliefs differ significantly, but that would not stop me from reading this book. I'm putting it on my bookshelf right now. Who wouldn't want to read about Hitler face torture and humiliation and murder by the hands of others? This sounds awesome! By the way, Jurassic Park, the book, was one source of inspiration for my book The Man in the Box. view book
Nice premise! Even though I'm not a paranormal/romance guy I'll be checking this one out. Maybe because I just saw Pirate 4 and am now interested in the Fountain of Youth. view book
I love, love, LOVE the premise and can't support it any more. I, myself am a Christian. But I can't help but ask myself, "Hasn't this been done?" I myself get frustrated over the amount of material already covered on various topics. But I have to ask you this: What is the hook? What is original about this title? Why should I choose this over Joshua Harris's time-tested book? Tell me why you think it will sell over someone else's? I want this book to succeed, if not, I want as many people to read it as possible, because it is a useful and important message. Also, I notice you classified this as romance. Be careful, because this title will gain no interest from anyone browsing the romance section as they are only looking for the exact opposite of this book. No one goes into a Mexican restaurant and decides to order Chinese food. view book
I love the importance put on the special needs child. Well written and intriguing. view book
Great premise. I have enjoyed the book so far. Very little I would do differently. view book
What a great premise! I look forward to reading this. view book
This is a very fun book! Keep up the good work. view book
I love your writing. You are very meticulous. The characters are well defined, and shine on and off the page. John, you sir, have a great talent. Let's get your book up on the shelves already, huh? I've been querying agents for about a year now for my book and have sworn them off after hundreds of rejections. I think they want the safe, predictable worn out stories that have been tried over the years. Maybe that is just the exact opposite of what my book is, and if so that is a compliment. But maybe it is predictable, and safe and unoriginal. . . in that case I'm in trouble and I just need someone to tell me that so I can take a new direction. view book
Leila, though I am not a fan of your particular genre, I do have to say that your narrative is very catching. I notice that it's written in the present tense... I'm guessing you were inspired by The Hunger Games? I had never seen that tense until I read that book. Your adjectives are perfectly chosen and timed to perfection. Believe me when i say that my highest compliment is that you are very John Steinbeck-like in your ability to pay attention to detail. My only two criticisms come from the quotations of the characters. First, sometimes I feel like it's not the way people really talk. ("Well, I did tell you I was coming?") I just didn't feel like some dialogue flowed as believably as I would have liked. Perhaps that just had to do with the use of question marks. I felt like there as an over-usage of that particular punctuation ("I don't see why not?"). I'm just offering criticism because as writers I believe we thrive on it because that helps us make our work that much better and brings it one step closer to perfection. I'd love for you to skim through my book and let me know what you think. The subject manner is very universal, I believe. Kids can enjoy it for its fantasy/action, parents can enjoy it for its sentimental family values and sci-fi buffs will enjoy its other-worldliness. I hope I have balanced them in harmony. view book