Cracking narrative, really film noir with added sass. I like the in-your-face attitude and the sarcastic jokes. It hooks my attention and gives me confidence in your ability to tell a story. Andrew view book

Spooky and exciting! And some of the most polished writing I've seen on the site, too. It feels so professional - the dialogue is natural and the narrative eye popping. This is a very accomplished piece of writing. Andrew view book

Always a sucker for true life accomplishment and change. Although religeous and scientific belief may differ across the globe, there's no denying the hope that people can glean from having faith. Andrew view book

I liked the style of this, a kind of dont-care attitude, just speaking how he feels. It makes the reader feel one with the narrator. One thing I did spot instantly and was very hard to ignore was the rhythm of the sentences. They are all the same. Try varying it up a bit, have short ones long ones, ... view book

I thought you used some good bits of language here to create something a bit different from the norm. You achieve a positive energy with this book without it feeling melodramatic, and I like that. Try to watch out for overuse of exclamation marks, they are a bit frowned upon outside of dialogue. ... view book