You describe Allystra so well that we feel as if we know her and we can relate to her and her circumstances. Her isolation is very vivid to the reader. Your development of her character is very well done. Maybe you can be a bit more descriptive about her looks so that we can visualize her. Is she ta... view book

I do not give grammatical comments because any editor can fix those. With regard to story development you have done a very good job with the plot. Writing in the first person makes the story more powerful. I like the introduction because it puts the reader in the scene right away. We can picture the... view book

I love this story. It is very well written and I like the fact that you wrote it in the first person. Had you not done that, the story would not be as compelling and we wouldn't feel Maddie's confusion as we do. I am not sure that the Prologue is needed in this case, but if you feel like you need to... view book

I love this story. It is very well written and I like the fact that you wrote it in the first person. Had you not done that, the story would not be as compelling and we wouldn't feel Maddie's confusion and confliction as we do. I am not sure that the Prologue is needed in this case, but if you feel ... view book

A very well crafted introduction, Chris. I like the fact that Seth is written in the first person, makes us understand him more, his thoughts and conflicts. The beginning of the story is one that most of us can relate to, getting in trouble with our parents and falling for someone but conflicted abo... view book