STRANGE BODIES
Antonia Marlowe

I have read this novel in its entireity and kept it on my shelf during the entire time up to the moment when it finally reached the editor desk and got that long awaited review. In addition, I spent many posts on the forums about this wonderful story. Antonia has won the critique from Authonomy by patience and diligence. Although I did not agree with some of the thoughts in the overview, I am pleased to see the more positive comments. It just proves to me that there are all kinds of readers who may or may not appreciate the way a novel is written. I loved the diversity of the various elements in Strange Bodies. One certainly does not feel impatient or bored during any of it.

Good job, Antonia. Best of luck with it.

Mary Enck view book

The Seventh Gate
Piper E. McDermot

I believe you are a true visionary who has experienced these scenes in your mind. The entire Chapter 2, apart from the prologue, is rich with mystery that you satisfy by all you reveal within that chapter. I will read all you have posted here but I can tell from what I have seen thus far, you are adept at taking a theme from a legend that is dear to my heart and making of it your own very unique story. To me the story is everything in a novel and I can usually overlook any necessary editing. Joyfully, I didn't need to do that with The Seventh Gate. I was able to relax and enjoy the moments when I felt like I was there next to Rhiannon as the visions unfold before her. I am going to back this novel because of the excellence in your skill as a writer but more so, in the fine way in which you arrange the events and tell the story. view book

Hi Lucette:

As you requested, I have read chapter 7. Your character in this chapter seems to be unusual and you have allowed the reader to see into the personality of this female you call Wen. However, chapter 7 reads like a characterization that could possibly be better revealed as more of an inclusion into a scene dealing with some sort of action where Wen finds herself involved in an activity that would reveal her character rather than loading it all into one chapter. I have not read the rest of your offering here and perhaps you do this later on in the ensuing chapters of your story. I would wonder if you have woven Wen into some interaction with the other personalities in your book. It seemed to me that this chapter stands alone as exposition more than showing us through some kind of episode who Wen really is and her ability to interact with others..

As a small observation, I had to question how one does laundry in different locations. Never having lived in New York City I am not aware how that is done but it would seem very unwieldly to lug your wash around to various laundries unless you had some form of transportation. I have to do that where I live and trust me, it's no fun. Fortunately, I have an automobile to facilitate that chore.

I can see you are accomplished as a writer. I thank you for the invitation to read chapter 7.

I wish you the best of luck with your novel.

Mary Enck view book

IN THE BEGINNING
Abby Vandiver

Thank you for the invitation to read your story. I have read through chapter three and would go further if I knew there would be more chapters to the end. Here are my thoughts. I very much like the premise of the tale. It is intriguing and brings up issues that many wonder about these days. Your style of writing reads smooth and moves at a good pace.

The prologue contains one sentence that stopped me, as well it may others who have the same opinions as myself. "It is true that God created the heavens and Earth and all that is within." This statement is too absolute for me. I am certain there are many readers who feel as I do and might not want to read a treatise on religion.

After reading on, I realized that this was not someone speaking in the here and now but rather the text of a document the story relates to. Yes, I know you have a modifier at the top of the page. I must have glossed over it without picking up the fact that the prologue was indeed a transcript of a questionable document. It's perhaps true that many on this site are in a hurry to read and will miss what is written at the top of the first page. I suggest that you might devote the beginning paragraph to your character clutching the documents protectively to his chest as he makes his way to the Editor in Chief. He might reflect on what was written and having read it many times over realized it was committed to his memory. That might clear up what could confuse others as I was confused. I admit it and apologize. Perhaps I am wrong but that is just how I see it.

I wish you well with this and hope you will send me a message should you have a completed manuscript to post here. I prefer to read it to the end in order to form an opinion beyond what I have already said.

Sincerely,

Mary Enck view book

STOP THE INSANITY
By DloganW

I read chapter one to learn of your ability to express what is meaningful to you in the politicians arena. I learned you do indeed know what you are talking about. You have a way of expressing yourself on these issues that is both entertaining and slightly amusing. Perhaps there will be someone in America who will read your book and be motivated to challenge the system and bring about enough change to make a difference. Don't forget, those who are making a career of muddling it are mostly weathy in their own right and thus a battle of two entities who can hurl power at one another is what will likely ensue.

The last time anything significant was accomplished in the interest of freedom for American Citizens happened in 1775 when the war between the British and the American Colonies began. I suggest that it will take nothing less than another revolution to set things on track in any direction. The old guard is so deeply established in this country that to effect an upset of their interests would happen along the lines of a severe act of the people, for the people and by the people.

Take a look at the events of 911. For the first time in centuries, this country came and rallied together toward the aggression against our freedoms. Not even that endured for long as everyone went back to the way things were before that took place. Of course, those whose families were torn apart will never again know the kind of freedom that was intended for us when we broke away from tyranny and established this country ages ago.

If I am skeptical, then perhaps it is because I feel the only way we, as a country, can escape the kind of self-serving oppression that we are served up no matter who is elected to the office of President of The United States of America, is to find a final frontier even if it is on another planet.

I wish you well with your book. It reads like a state of the union that perhaps, when published, you will have laid out some guidelines toward that end.

Best of luck.

Mary Enck view book

A Club Grimorie Fantasy Review

JINGER BARLEY AND THE MURKLE MOON

What a delightful beginning to your story. I am very inclined to read it all. I love the creation of the Murkle Moon and it's clear to see you are a natural storyteller. This is fun with a promise of more to come that will amuse the fancy of those like myself who love a good story. To me, that is everything. Grammar and editing can be done by those who are proficient in that exercise. I have always felt that is why the gods made editors.

There is just one thing I would point out that you may have overlooked. I am not certain about this and it may just be your style. You mention the name of your main character quite often. Perhaps more often that is needed for the reader to know who you are talking about. If you begin a paragraph, which is short to begin with, using the name of Arthur in the first sentence, then all of what you say after in that paragraph comes from him. I don't think you need to repeat his name several times to prop that up. Just me, of course. But it rather slowed me down a bit.

I love this story and wish you all success. I have given you six stars and put you on my watchlist to read the rest.

Again my thanks to you for reviewing A King in Time.

Mary Enck view book

Club Grimorie Fantasy Critique

THE DRUIDS OF GYBI

I started reading Chapter One and realized that it was more of a Prologue and so I continued on with Chapter Two seeking action and a beginning of a story. There was more prologue style at the beginning of the second chapter and yet I persisted to see where the novel actually commences. Whilst the history of what is taking place and where was interesting to one such as myself who loves the times of Merlin, I felt that all of the foreshadowing could perhaps be entertwined within the story so as to keep the reader mesmerized.

Once you get down to the encounters the Romans face with the Druids, I feel that is the real beginning. It's very graphic but likely a reflection of the times and what actually took place in the treatment of those who lived in Brittania.

I always focus on the story rather than attempting to become an editor. That I will leave to those who truly know what they are doing. I saw some typos and those can easily be fixed. Past tense and present tense might be something for you to pay attention to. That's all I will say about grammar.

The story, thus far, is a great one and I feel certain you will polish it with the outcome being a spectacular rendition of those mysterious times. I like it and would like to see you take on the hard work of rewriting. I have done it so much it gets harder each time I approach it. This site has been so helpful it illuminating the areas I needed to address. I am still collecting observations and know that is the best reason for being here.

Best of luck.

Mary Enck view book

Club Grimorie Fantasy Review

ACTS OF THE SERVANT

Congratulations on this achievement, Colin. To me, it is likened to a symphony with a beginning of scenes well filled out, meandering here and there to allow us to see it clearly before you introduce the quickening of suspense.

Chapter One is quite long but there is much to be told and by the time I reached the half way point, I was traveling with Wolfe. I felt his anger, knew of his upbringing, understood why he was embittered and saw his reactions to events beyond his control.

The last part of the chapter set the stage for what was to come. There was suspense, an abundance of mystery and certainly made me regard with suspicion other characters. What I got from the character of the Queen, left me feeling she was guilty of something. Her response to Wolfe made that clear. Still, there was no real explanation and I would read more to learn what that might be.

You have obviously been diligent with this authentic portrayal. In my mind, Acts of the Servant evolves in the style of that renowned author of historical novels, Bernard Cornwell. Like him you take your time to illustrate every possible detail that makes this a rich story. I enjoyed chapter one very much.

Mary Enck view book

Club Grimoire Fantasy Review

Serpentine is rich with strong characterization. I am so curious to see how the monk came by that crescent moon scar on his face. That one small bit of information got my mind going with supposition of all the possibilities and who the monk really is. The boy he calls, Marcus appears to me to be true to the rigors of his previous life. He's had hard times and just when they seem to be lightening, he is thrust into a situation similar to what he is accustomed to.

I would like to see a little more of how Marcus looks. I assumed he must be a handsome lad if a young lady desired his kiss. It's always difficult to know facts when one is only reading the first chapter. There is the chance that Marcus will be fleshed out in later chapters. Regardless of events that brought him to his lot in life, I like his way of not appearing too subservient.

Based on chapter one, I would read on.

Mary Enck view book

Club Grimoire Fantasy Review

Serpentine is rich with strong characterization. I am so curious to see how the monk came by that crescent moon scar on his face. That one small bit of information got my mind going with supposition of all the possibilities and who the monk really is. The boy he calls, Marcus appears to me to be true to the rigors of his previous life. He's had hard times and just when they seem to be lightening, he is thrust into a situation similar to what he is accustomed to.

I would like to see a little more of how Marcus looks. I assumed he must be a handsome lad if a young lady desired his kiss. It's always difficult to know facts when one is only reading the first chapter. There is always the chance that Marcus will be fleshed out in later chapters. Regardless of events that brought him to his lot in life, I like his way of not appearing too subservient.

Based on chapter one, I would read on.

Mary Enck view book

Club Grimoire Fantasy Review

Serpentine is rich with strong characterization. I am so curious to see how the monk came by that crescent moon scar on his face. That one small bit of information got my mind going with supposition of all the possibilities and who the monk really is. The boy he calls, Marcus appears to me to be true to the rigors of his previous life. He's had hard times and just when they seem to be lightening, he is thrust into a situation similar to what he is accustomed to.

I would like to see a little more of how Marcus looks. I assumed he must be a handsome lad if a young lady desired his kiss. It's always difficult to know facts when one is only reading the first chapter. There is always the chance that Marcus will be fleshed out in later chapters. Regardless of events that brought him to his lot in life, I like his way of not appearing too subservient.

Based on chapter one, I would read on.

Mary Enck view book

Club Grimoire Critique

Before I get on to my nitpicks about your first chapter, I wanted to say I think this is a very interesting idea, something quite original from what I've read so far, and certainly an opening that made me want to continue reading :)

I did find the language a stumbling point. Arthur speaks very very formally, which suggested to me that he was from the past rather than the future. Combined with the falling over the the bright flash of light at the start, I was starting to think maybe he had time-traveled. It was only when I rechecked the dates and read on that it became clear that he is a future part of the royal family - based on how the royal family, particularly the younger members, speak today, I think you could easily loosen this up a little. Don't make him a cockney by any means, but maybe relax it a little so he sounds more relatable - the majority of your YA audience are less likely to bond with the character when he's so very distant sounding.

Once I understood what was going on, I found the premise and the characters very interesting :) my biggest niggle would be with your opening paragraph. Although I think I know what you were trying to convey, it's very difficult - it's quite an emotionless moment, described almost like a scientific order of events. And then no more reference is made to it. As it's your opening statement it seems like it should be very relevant, the grinding and the bright light, but no more mention is made of them and nothing appears to have happened.

I would suggest perhaps going with a different order of events? Arthur surveying the countryside and deciding this is where he will rebuild his ancestral home, perhaps then slipping on his return to his chauffeur (or something, but it seems unlikely that a crown prince would just disappear out onto the hills when he could probably just ask to be driven there), then banging his head and THEN seeing the old man. Having his fall and then immediately seeing the stranger seems like a more likely turn of events than falling over, spending a bit of time contemplating the view, then seeing the mysterious figure.

I do think this is a really good idea, it could just use some tweaking to make it a stronger opening :) I look forward to reading more!

KT

Hello K. T.,

Thank you for your comments on A King in Time. I am pleased at how you found the idea interesting.

It's noteworthy that there have been many different observations concerning how royals may speak eighty eight years onto the future. If the present Queen is any indication, I believe that it just may continue in the dignified manner that it has for many years. I believe there are all sorts of effects on the behavior of any individual. Upbringing, associations, family influences and the lack of any siblings might have significant impact of how a character presents himself. A dear friend has told me that a formal way of speaking merely indicates a well read, educated individual. I agree with him, particularly in the way in which I have created my characters.

Ergo, it was very astute of you to find a connection to the future Arthur and that illustrious King Arthur of legend. I believe there are many hidden things in this novel that will, hopefully upon discovery, create an "Ah Ha!" moment in the reading of it. I see from your list of novels you have enjoyed mystery in abundance.

I would like to clear up one other point you raised. The first sentences are that way after I had a discussion with one of my past professors at U.C.L.A., who is also a well known literary agent. I love England and its incomparable beauty. I originally had the beginning to be more of a landscape study of the surrounding area. He felt that I might create a gripping start to this story with the way I have it written now using pure action. What I realize from this is that one cannot please everyone. It's good that it takes a variety of tastes so that readers can choose what pleases them.

Again, my thanks to you for sharing your ideas with me.

Sincerely,

Mary Enck view book

Club Gilmoire Review

You set the mood pretty good, but I think the opening could use some description as to the scenery. To me, it reads like any old field, yet I know England has some beautiful landscapes. I like the introduction of the old man coming out of the fog. It seems like you’re trying to tie in the wind, the light Arthur sees after hitting his head and the sound as some mystical force that brought the old man. I think that could be done in more detail and with more mystique, so then it can be certain that Arthur didn’t just see and hear things after bumping his head from being blown over by the wind.

You bring out some good information from the dialogue with the old man. I would have expected Arthur to be more shocked that a stranger knew so much about his future – an old man talking about hearing stories of King Arthur when the old man was a child. Anyway, it is an interesting story.

N. LaRonda Johnson
http://authonomy.com/books/45790/anticipation-of-the-penitent/

Thank you N. LaRonda for your comments on A King in Time. I appreciate knowing your impressions. Best of luck to you with your novel.

Mary Enck view book

Grimoire Review:
This is a lovely story, set in England, quite some time in the future. The story of Arthur has been told many, many time, but you make it seem original.
The opening scene is atmospheric and mysterious as the Prince Arthur meets a strange old man who acts as though they know each other.
I also liked how you added in the media’s hype about the “return of King Arthur.” It adds a level of authenticity to the story.
Arthur’s dislike of all the media attention and cumbersome customs made him seem real and sympathetic. I definitely want to find out more about him.
This might be just me, but the second half of the chapter didn’t captivate my attention the way the first half did. I’m not a hundred percent sure why. I think part of it was the paragraphs of summarization and that to me there didn’t seem to be that much tension. It could also have been the lack of physical descriptions; I couldn’t picture clearly what Arthur’s surroundings were like the way I could the foggy countryside. The end of the chapter felt a little sudden and anticlimactic, especially when I glanced ahead at the second chapter.
Completely ignore me if this doesn’t feel right for your story, but I think you could cut that second half and add a lot of that information into the first half—his thoughts about the reactions of the already hyped-up media if they knew he was planning on rebuilding Camelot, his mixed emotions about being king, etc. You could probably even add in his mother calling him on his cellphone before he is distracted by the old man’s arrival or something. This way you could end on the stronger note of the old man’s disappearance and I think it would add a little more tension throughout. Again, this is your story, and this is just a suggestion—and maybe not a very good suggestion.
Some nitpicking:
“possible danger; and continued” I don’t think you need the semicolon there.
“casual relaxed way” at least to me, “casual” and “relaxed” are close enough in meaning that one of them seems redundant when they are used together.
“just stood there leaning” seems like it could use a comma after “there”
“Arthur’s Aide, Cromwell flung” probably needs a comma after “Cromwell”
“Please Sir” should probably be “Please, Sir”
Other than that, I thought this was very well written and you’ve made me want to find out what happens to Arthur and England.

Thank you, Kayla for your comments in A King in Time. I always appreciate notations about punctuation. I agree about the second half of the chapter and I will take a closer look at your suggestions. This is precisely why these reviews are so valuable to us. For me, it is the primary reason for participating on this site.

I look forward to reading your story of Elven Society. It sounds like an enchanting read. Best of luck to you.

Sincerely,

Mary Enck view book

Club Grimoire Review:

There are several retellings of the King Arthur legend, but this is the first I've seen set in the future. An interesting take on it and I'm curious to see how technology and imagined advances play into this.

I love the line describing the fog like a 'gray wolf.' I only wish you had more description of the setting and characters.

Best of luck with this!

Hello Emily:

Thank you for your comments on A King in Time. I am pleased that you like the opening chapter. Although the story begins in a future time, this tale is primarily set in yesterday. England has a rich history that has survived for hundreds of years in the way people speak, traditions and the ancient architecture that rests on the ir beautiful land. Whilst the country has their share of advances in technology, the royal essence still surrounds the area from the past and wonderous rulers who have been so colorful. For the legend of King Arthur to have survived all these ages, as a well loved story. I can only wish my writing should last that long.

For a mother of children, I am amazed that you have such a collection of stories to tell. Those you have posted here hold great interest for me and I put you on my watch list. Most certainly I will read the novel you have in the Fantasy Club Grimoire.

Sincerely,

Mary Enck

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Club Grimoire Review:

This is definitely the first Arthur tale I've heard of taking place in at least two points in time, not to mention two Arthurs.

The first location in the story seems a good place to start, someplace that connects both of the central characters. I think you were hinting that the old man could be Merlin, which could also be pretty neat.

Being about King Arthur, your story already has a lure big and familiar enough to set it apart from others. The original (as far as I can tell) spin you've adapted is surely enough to highlight it among the rest. Its rating here is as good an indicator of its popularity as you should need.

Hello Meera,

Thank you for your comments on A King in Time. It's good to know that my intention to set the scene for mystery have done their job. The old man may not necessarily be Merlyn. There are other characters in the story yet to come and I hope everyone will read far enough into the tale to discover what takes place.

I read your long pitch and it is so well done and intriguing, I look forward to reading your story.

Sincerely,

Mary Enck view book

Club Grimoire Critique

Always nice to see another Arthurian, one of my own currently non-authonomy projects deals with heavy Arthurian motifs, so every contrast I find is of interest.

This story in particular is very interesting, not because it's Arthurian, but because of its originality and unique premise. I'm always interested in time travel as well, and the idea of two Arthurs is an intriguing one, as well as an alternate history.

The writing is also very good, well paced and well styled with some great insights into the main Arthur character and a fantastic air of mystery about the stranger. No nitpicks or criticisms pop out at me, so all in all, well done, and highly starred.

KT

Hi Rachel,

I thank you kindly for your insightful review of A King in Time. To get a point of view from one who really appreciates this genre of fiction, means so much. I am pleased at your comments and I am compelled to read your story too. I have been in the process of moving my residence and it has kept me away from the computer. It's refreshing to return and I will be very interested to read your work.

Sincerely,

Mary Enck view book

CG review
Hi Mary,
Always fascinated by a King Arthur tale - and by the fact that the fascination is so universal, and has out-lasted many a famous king with far more definitive footprints in the historical records. There's just something about this guy that won't quit, isn't there? I love it.
Since your first chapter was fairly short, I had a squiz through the comments - it's very entertaining to read the various takes on the 'most likely' truth of Arthur's origins or his 'real' history. There are as many opinions as there are potential locations of Arthurian sites, with new candidates being discovered by archaeology every so often. Just as many opinions on Arthur's lineage and background too.
Apologies for the digression - but I think anyone (in the comments) should be careful of suggesting 'this is who/where/what' this mysterious man really was. The goalposts move frequently!

Back to your Chp 1
Overall impression: your prose has a nice, easy-to-read flow. Personally, I enjoyed the 'old fashioned' tone of the dialogue - particularly in conjunction with the futuristic time setting of 2100 (although no other indications given as yet). There are some lovely descriptive touches - the mist creeping 'like a grey wolf on it's belly' stood out for me. I could have happily spent more time with similar words - the chapter has plenty of breathing room.

Characters: Since the chapter is short, there is little room for a great deal of development here, but what is included worked well - we have a sense this young man has purpose and goals; that perhaps he does not quite fit the expected 'mold' of a royal; that like most sons, his mother gets on his nerves from time time - especially when it comes to the topic of 'girlfriends'. Arthur feels completely likeable, and I want to find out what happens to him.

Little doubt about the true identity of the old man - unless you are going to hit us with a plot twist later and make us all feel a bit silly! But this brings me to my one and only question about the chapter - and it is entirely a matter of my preference, I think.

Since your Arthur's great-grandfather has regaled him all his life with tales of the legendary king and his knights, we would assume that he is familiar with the character of Merlin also. It seems not quite believable to me that Prince Arthur would have no reaction - other than 'he knows me from my media images' - to the old man's apparent recognition of him. We have been clued in as readers, but Arthur is left in the dark. I don't think your book is YA, is it? If not, I'm not entirely comfortable in feeling that I am one step ahead of the MC in working out what is going on. I want him to be smarter than me, and to surprise me.

I was wishing that he had some kind of reaction - even the tiniest of vague suspicions, some slight frisson of foreboding - that something else was going on there with that old man.
Especially since he tells young Arthur straight out that he looks 'like him' and 'Nonsense. You have always been the King of Britain'. We are told Arthur believes with all his heart that 'Arthur Pendragon reigned over Cornwall' - so perhaps he could have some sort of 'reaction' when the old man speaks to him?
Just after this, we are told Arthur thinks about him frequently - so maybe there you could let us in to Arthur's thoughts a bit - give us some clue as to what he made of that old man.
Apologies for this long-winded musing on that, but I'm trying to work out for myself what exactly it was that was tickling.

This was a very enjoyable read. I found the promise of time-travel in the pitch intriguing, with the concept of Prince Arthur in a future time being a pleasant, fresh spin on the legend and the time-travel concept. Two Arthurs thrown together - I look forward to finding out what happens next.

Hello Piper,

I sincerely appreciate the time you took to provide me with such a full critique. Some of your comments I completely follow and agree with your observations.

So many seem to ponder the identity of the elder who appears out of nowhere to speak with Prince Arthur. As the story progresses many other characters flit in and out to enhance the story. This is especially true of the shape shifting Dragons of Dinas Emrys, Ansgaard and Serikon who fly in a bit later on. Historically, they are mentioned often with Merlyn's beginnings. That in no way reveals the true identity of the mysterious character in chapter one. It only requires reading on to discover that. Evil of me I know. But is it not the job of a writer of fiction to create the need to speculate on what comes next?

As to Arthur's reaction to this character, whom he finds intriguing, I feel it is like so many things that creep up on us out of the context of our daily lives, the speculation of who he might be and what he intends will come after the fact and that appears later when events trigger his puzzlement.

I do like your comment about the discriptive touches I use and I thank you for reinforcing my tendency to use them. I have been accused of writing too much in a so called "flowerly" or "formal" fashion. I suspect those who say that are not from the British Shores. All of my friends and family from that ancient place do tend to speak that way. There are others who like the rather formal way of speaking among the characters who are Royals. Can't please everyone so I just write in my own style and let it create the atmosphere that I want to convey.

Over all, I am very grateful to read your comments and I thank you so much. I do indeed hope you read on.

Regards,

Mary Enck

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Club Grimiore Review of A King In Time

Hi Mary

Chapter 1

It opens with Arthur standing on a hill where he assaulted by wind and bright flashes of light. A strange mist flows in and an old man emerges ( a wild guess, Merlin ) he has a conversation with Arthur who is told he has always been the king of the Britain’s. Other than this statement the old man remains vague and mysterious.

Later the young Arthur awakes in the palace of Windsor, and we learn he is a prince.
His man servant Cromwell (maybe a distant relative of Oliver, that would please the royalists!) prepares the king in waiting for his day. Marriage is mentioned in a phone call with Arthur’s mother and he brushes aside her topic of conversation abruptly.

The story sets up nicely in the first chapter, the flow is spot on and the descriptions are good.

I love the Arthurian legends, they are for the most part timeless. I like how you call him “king of the Britons” although one of the earliest historical references stated he was not a king and that he fought “with” the Britons. This implies that he was not of British decent and that he was more of a general. ( best sources say he was the son of a Roman who was married to a Britain, the battle of Badon hill was believed to have been fought near Bath. Earth works discovered on the supposed site had imprints of hob nail boots, believed to be late 5th century copies of roman soldier issue. The Anglo Saxons they were fighting wore leather strapped shoes with no nails)

Sorry for my ramblings, you may have noticed I am fascinated by history.

I did feel that the MC lacked a little depth, but in fairness the chapter was very short so layers that are needed are possibly rendered later. All in all a good start and an enjoyable read. So much is rewritten about Arthur and to a certain extent it’s overdone but you seem to be traveling on a different path to the others. Thanks for an enjoyable read and I wish you all the best with this.

Regards Ian “The Paladin Vampire”

Sincere thanks to you, Ian for giving A King in Time such a great review. I love to learn how some of the seeds I have planted are budding. As you have mentioned, seeing them grow takes delving further into the story.

The story of King Arthur has endured for hundreds of years. What writer would not wish to have that same fascination for the tales they tell? It seems that many never tire of the extensions and additions to this dearest legend. I read everything I can find on the era.

Perhaps one day I will take you up on your offer in your profile. What a dream it would be to rent a cottage in a serene environment so I could do what I love most with the rest of my life.

Again, my thanks to you for the time you spent reading and commenting on A King in Time.

Mary Enck view book

Fantasy Club Grimoire Critique

THE PALADIN VAMPIRE
Iam Oliver-Jones

A Fantasy/Thriller. Wow does this ever move with a chilling beginning. I like the shift in Chapter Two to the other main character, assuming she is that. It's a great device to remove the reader away from the events of the first chapter where we meet the vampire, which was chilling enough at the outset. I truly read as fast as I could to see if he was going to escape what confined him. I should have known he could.

I believe you have a way of creating vivid metaphors that keep the reading spiced with words that made me smile. It is a multilayered style that reflects many hours of observation and study, or just plain talent. Probably a lot of both. I will not attempt to dissect the end result as, in my opinion, it is well done.

Thank you for the opportunity to read your writing.

Mary Enck view book