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written 676 days ago
cherry

Hi - I read the pitch for this and it appealed to me. I have read the first 4 chapters and have not been disappointed. You created the character of Reuben Rudge very well, he is very believable and I found myself rooting for him very quickly. I felt that Becky's character was not as easy to imagine initially, but she is growing on me. It is very funny, I love Reuben's internal dialogue, and the snippets about his previous novels. The reactions to the constant marketing calls build nicely and are also very amusing (wish I could think of answers like that at the appropriate time).
Good luck with this. I am starring highly and adding to my watchlist - looking forward to reading more.
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written 677 days ago
cherry

Hi there. I realise that I am coming into this later than some of your other commenters (I know that's probably not a word) and have therefore read your first couple of chapters now that they have been uploaded. I don't know if you put the introductory bit in for the purposes of this forum or if that is how you would present the book as a finished article. I am very new to this so this is purely a personal reaction, but I would rather just get into the story and get to know the characters as they present themselves - much the way it happens in real life in fact. Having said that I will put this on my watchlist and try to read more as I think it is an interesting subject for a book and look forward to finding out how it develops. view book

written 678 days ago
cherry

Very different style than I am used to, but it is very effective. You manage to move the story forward while filling in the backstory without it slowing anything down. I wish you luck with this - I will keep it on my watchlist and hope to get back to read more. view book

written 679 days ago
cherry

A very original idea, and you have built up the tension well. I have read the first 3 chapters and they do draw one in. Your characters are very strong and their situations intriguing. Just one thing - when I read your longer pitch I felt confused by it and may not have continued - that may just be because it is not my usual read and I mentally 'switched off'. I am glad I did look further though as I enjoyed it more than I thought I would.
Good luck.
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written 680 days ago
cherry

Hi Dave
I have looked at the next few chapters and have a few comments. At first I felt that the pace had slowed - but then I suppose that once Amy had been resettled and her initial attempts at finding Jake had failed the 'pace' would have felt slow to her also. I did feel that it picked jup in the final chapter uploaded when you described George's experiences in the Lake District. The idea of a new and more sinister way of dealing with the ongoing issue of the survivors introduces more urgency to the situation. I wonder if this could have been done earlier however. When Sara is sacked I think this would have been done far more efficiently - I think most places would expect you gone within the hour and escorted off the premises. I think she would have realised this and would have found a way to talk to George before - this would speed the action up out of necessity.
Just some thoughts, I am not an expert and this isn't my normal read. I am still very interested to know what happens to your characters though, which means it still has me hooked! view book

written 681 days ago
cherry

What an original idea. I have looked at the first three chapters. You have been able to build a picture of your characters through the memories Ben shares. The description of the accident was vivid without being macarbre. I can imagine teenagers loving this. Good luck - I hope it does well. view book

written 683 days ago
cherry

I read the beginning of this book - you set the scene well, but I did find that the first night, assembly and general chat went on a little long for me. Right at the end of this there is the slightly odd comment about the sixth form which suddenly introduces a sinister note which pulls it out of 'Chalet School' mode and makes me want to read on. I wonder if this could have come sooner and maybe filled in some of the rest of the background later on once you have people hooked. Just a thought - I am no expert. Will add it to my watchlist and try to read some more. view book

written 683 days ago
cherry

I did enjoy this! Especially the last chapter - it finished things off beautifully. One thing - I would have liked to have heard more from Speedy himself. Maybe every so often a chapter from his point of view. The chapter when he is captive in Mr Peabody's house would have worked well in this way for example.
Overall I enjoyed it - a novel idea and was exciting enough to keep children reading. view book

written 685 days ago
cherry

Thanks for your comments people - I note that it hasn't really struck you as a children's book. I wrote it for children as it about magic, spells etc. The only other thing I could call it would be 'chick lit with wands' and I am not sure that that is a genre.
Thanks for your time and comments - they are all noted and will be acted on.
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written 685 days ago
cherry

I really like this. I have read the opening chapters and your characters leap off the page. They are rounded and believable - and you don't waste words. Good luck - In hope this makes it into print - I would definately buy it for my children. view book

written 687 days ago
cherry

Thanks for your comment and taking the time to read the start. Glad you enjoyed it so far. view book

written 688 days ago
cherry

Hi have read the first 2 chaptersand putting on my watchlist to read more of as I am a little short of time. Your main character has caught my interest and I want to find out what he does next. It flows smoothly and your sense of Gary's isolation grows as you read on. Looking forward to reading more. view book

written 688 days ago
cherry

I have just read the prologue and chapter 1. It's not really my type of fiction but you have quickly got to the point of the message and the hook which catches the readers interest. Some of the back story lost me a bit - but it may be that I never read sci-fi books so don't really 'settle' into the language that quickly. Sci-fi fans would probably love it though. view book

written 691 days ago
cherry

Have read the first two chapters and am adding this to my watchlist. I love the poetic feel of your writing, it really conveys the sadness of Madge's situation and Gerald's guilt. Will come back and read more. Nice sense of place too. view book

written 693 days ago
cherry

Bother - stayed up far later than I intended reading this! Hope to read the rest at some point. Really liked it and want to know what happens next. view book

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