farrold saxon recent comments

written 1254 days ago
cherry

Thoroughly polished, engaging from beginning to end. A great story for 10 - 13 year olds.

Farrold Saxon (Where-Stand-All) view book

written 1254 days ago
cherry

This is a promising work - a few missed words and minor errors that will be easy to tidy up - (shriek yell vs shrill yell or just shriek) As you say, this is a draft/work in progress. A little more detail, such as what model of 1968 station wagon, would give that touch more grounding for the story. You give us visual imagery consistently. Perhaps this could be balanced with a bit more tactile, olfactory, aural.

A warm welcome to Authonomy and I look forward to seeing how you work up your story.

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written 1255 days ago
cherry

'love the way the main character talks so directly to the reader, even questioning them. I've been waiting for a 'Now, sit up straight and listen carefurly to this here bit.'

Flows well. So many amusing touches, starting with God being five miles down the road.

Warm regards, Farrold Saxon (Where-Stand-All) view book

written 1255 days ago
cherry

Different - quick-witted repartee. It works for me.

Farrold Saxon (Where-Stand-All) view book

written 1255 days ago
cherry

Delightful, well-crafted, detailed fantasy, with consistent tone, right up to the succinct ending. Reads like a classic.

Farrold Saxon. (Where-Stand-All) view book

written 1256 days ago
cherry

'Boskin, Babcock and Bullrush' is reminiscent of 'Arty Bartflast' in Hitchhikers Guide. The quest for the timid tree trout reminded me of the mattresses flollooping in the marshes in Restaurant at the End of the Universe. Far from being a clone of Richard Adams, you have a delightfully outlandish and original sense of the absurd which stands alongside his. And, certainly, this sense of the absurd is really based upon reflection of the absurdity of the actual human condition. No doubt this book will have something to say about the state of our planet and our relationship with it, as well as being very entertaining. It should have very broad appeal.

Your main character seems to be a delightful cross between Arthur Dent and Bilbo Baggins.

It's hard to comment on these three chapters, without seeing if you sustain the tone to a well-rounded plot conclusion, but your pitch suggests that you have. I think you've made a wonderful start here. It could do with a little polish and strengthening of voices. E.g., the fabulous ocean rescue bird could talk haughtily or disdainfully - just to strengthen its character a little.

Keep it coming.

Farrold Saxon (Where-Stand-All) view book

written 1256 days ago
cherry

This is a long way from my preferred genres, but your writing style is original, concise and exciting. Even the prologue is engaging. Five stars from me.

Farrold Saxon (Where-Stand-All) view book

written 1257 days ago
cherry

I like the conversational tone, autobiographical intimacy and warm humour you achieve here - this allows you to disclose important issues of your everyday life in a way that is entertaining and meaningful in nice balance. It's a good read. Please give it a quick edit for typos and spelling - e.g., 'quite' versus 'quiet'; 'as' instead of 'has'.

A warm welcome to authonomy.

Farrold Saxon (Where-Stand-All)
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written 1258 days ago
cherry

This is a colossal piece of writing; coherent, intricate, imaginative, credible, but it didn't hold my attention. I think you need a lot more intimate and detailed interaction between characters and more immediacy in how you describe their thinking and feelings about things. It reads like an essay more than like a novel much of the time. O.K., much of it is in 'report' format and this doesn't work for me. Yet the quality of your writing suggests that you are easily equal to the task of a rewrite in a more accessible form.

Warm regards,

Farrold Saxon (Wherer-Stand-All) view book

written 1259 days ago
cherry

Joy, you are clearly passionate about this pivotal episode in Indian/British history. You are well-organised in your telling of this story. However, you sometimes have trouble with rendering tense in English (which is a strange language, admittedly). So it should be 'sounds rising' and then 'dense trees standing' even though you are describing past action. There are a few places in your script where there are words missing or other irregularities.

Yet you often have a charming turn of phrase 'cutouts erected on nothingness'.

May I offer to provide you an edit of this chapter? You can email a copy of your script to me at alffry@clear.net.nz

Warm regards, Farrold Saxon

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written 1269 days ago
cherry

A sort of stream-of-consciousness, confessional, self-analytical, let's get all this crap off my chest venting. Your honest and direct writing style lifts the drear, hurtful, frustrating, sad aspects of your reflections on life, to a place where I am filled with admiration for the ordinary human spirit.

Farrold Saxon (Where-Stand-All) view book

written 1269 days ago
cherry

Jay - from the very first paragraph you show a mature and purposeful control of the art of writing, even when you use some tried and true devices such as opening with a statement about the ordinariness of Cedric's home and neighbourhood. Why you would feel anxious about exposing your talent is beyond me.

Congratulations. 5 stars.

Farrold Saxon (Where-Stand-All) view book

written 1271 days ago
cherry

Time Warriors is engrossing, classic, punchy, grand scale, high drama science fiction. It's written with great integrity and attention to detail; a complex plot competently conveyed. I'm reminded of Kurt Vonnegut's Cat's Cradle, Robert A. Heinland's Stranger in a Strange Land, in its breadth.

Farrold Saxon (Where-Stand-All) view book

written 1274 days ago
cherry

Young witch leading tiresomely ordinary life, with everyday family tensions - it's a great way to begin a story. And the hissing noise in her head and things falling over when she tries to use a ritual to help herself and her surroundings to be peaceful and positive. There's something big waiting and wanting to happen here.

Good flowing style. Characters and plot development well integrated. Entertaining and suspenseful. Would make a good movie.

Farrold Saxon - Where-Stand-All

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written 1274 days ago
cherry

A superbly wrought, lively, dark comedy monologue - quite an achievement. I found myself comparing it with Clockwork Orange. A great job of getting into the cheerfully amoral mind of a thoroughly loathesome character.
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written 1274 days ago
cherry

In Arcane, Carl E Wilde has given us an atmospheric, eerie cautionary work in progress about a world of our near-future that is emerging from global crisis resulting from our current world order.

The unusual conventions of sentence structure employed enhance the eerie, foreboding, mistrustful, anxious tone of the book; as do the mainly abrupt and brief verbal exchanges.

For other authonomy writers, this is a fascinating read just to see how these effects are achieved, quite apart from the story itself.
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written 1274 days ago
cherry

Lickety Split is a fine example of a bubbly, pacy satirical comedy-mystery founded in the preoccupations and lifestyles of 20-something urbanites in 2010. (Whew!)

The story is full of strong, original and funny images and graphic wit, that had me pausing to re-read them for another guffaw.

The early chapters, here on authonomy, also give us the springboard for an engaging, comic mystery about the disappearance (alleged killing) of the main characters girlfriend.

Farrold Saxon

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written 1283 days ago
cherry

Thoroughly and engrossingly gruesome, a study in perversity that feels horribly real. You manage the elements of prose with mastery.

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written 1286 days ago
cherry

Of Madness and Folly takes us into a boyish tumble , with entertaining, humerous and fast-paced snippets of life from early adolescence to early adulthood. The POV is first person, a rather superficial young man who takes life as it comes, absorbed in living for the moment, perhaps in a rather superficial way. Then the crunch comes. Will we see the 'growing up' of the main character or something else? How will he deal with real pain? This looks set to be a coming-of-emotional-age drama, with grief as an important theme. It will be interesting to see how Sean Lamb portrays the change in mood and pace.

Sean Lamb balances all the elements of good writing in these first chapters, creating a story that is as real as its characters. Can he sustain this into the next stage of the book? view book

written 1286 days ago
cherry

Original, gritty, action-packed, suspenseful yet humorous with tantalising peeks into the protagonists' motivation, the only problem with this novel is it's not complete.

Keep it coming.

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