Honey Sweetheart The short and long pitches are well written and give the reader a clear idea of what this story is about. In the long pitch, the second 'sin' is somewhat repetitive. Suggest replace it with 'temptation'. "yet Honey doesn't know the Spirit." I think many readers wouldn't under... view book

You can certainly write, though some of the details might be a bit obscure for readers who are not familiar with Kuwait. Hope to sound constructive rather than negative. If you decide to re-work this book at a future date or haven't finished it yet or wish to write a sequel, hope you take on board s... view book

I find the subject of dreams fascinating. The content is vivid and well written. Stylistically, it might read more fluidly with longer sentences and shorter paragraphs. She's walking along a passageway, the floor a glittery white and the tiled walls a polished pink and silver. Along these walls ... view book

Some advice I found useful. Best to reserve the use of apostrophes for feelings of astonishment rather than any heightened emotion, otherwise they lose their potency. In the first section, you probably only need an apostrophe after the words 'look' and 'Walkerville'. Otherwise, use italics to ... view book

I've glanced over your novel. You are certainly a capable writer with a story to tell. Hope to pass on to you what I have myself picked up on Authonomy. In the second part of Chapter 1, the POV (point of view) character (Jem) should really be established in the first sentence. This should be the ... view book