Ryan, Jason Earth — coolest name ever, BTW. I usually just point out what didnt' work for me or where I stumbled as I read. It doesn't go over well with everybody, but It's what we need to hear as writers to figure out what doesn't work for the reader. "The easiest thing for a reader to do is ... view book

Sorry for the delay in the read. I'm loving your Theories. I pointed out the very few places where I had to stop and re-read or got lost. CHPT3/1 There's no bed, that's in the adjoining room. — I stumbled on this. I don't know why I had to read it a couple of times. It's clear now. I think it... view book

Sorry for the delay in the read. I'm loving your Theories. I pointed out the very few places where I had to stop and re-read or got lost. CHPT3/1 There's no bed, that's in the adjoining room. — I stumbled on this. I don't know why I had to read it a couple of times. It's clear now. I think it... view book

Chpt 2 - "I was supposed to sprint towards the spot where John told me Aiden would catch the ball." This confused me. I'm not sure how John could know where that next spot was. Was he on Aiden's team and feeding her information about the next play to come? If so, that was unclear and gave me ... view book

yarg Chris, Your writing is clean so I didn't have much to comment on. I just made a two notes about places in where I stopped, to think about things, long enough that it disrupted the flow of reading. And one paragraph where I thought the action was great but there was a spoiler phrase tell... view book