I've read the first chapter and am very intrigued. I was born in Germany and have been back a few times (though only once briefly to Munich), so I enjoyed the details that set the story in Germany. The characters are believable and the story captures my interest. One small quibble - I'm not sure if you've made me believe enough in Daniel's financial need (and perhaps a touch of recklessness) that I think he would do what Herr Wolff wants so quickly. I think you can fix that though, by spending a little more time at the beginning giving us details of why he needs the money - e.g. is his rent due, he hasn't been eating much, more about his parents situation? Can't wait to read more. I'm putting this on my bookshelf. view book

Hello Sali. You've got some interesting ideas here. However, I think you need to write more scenes - for example in the first paragraph, the first sentence is great, but then I'd like you to take us to that actual retirement event, have us hear the speech and what is being said about John. Later on I like the dream about the horse, but it seems to me that you move on too quickly from that - what does John think about it, does he talk to his wife about it? Then you've got a pretty good scene where he and Sarah are talking later. Rather than telling us about John, can you do more showing? What do other people say about him, what is his house like, his favourite possessions, etc. Happy writing. view book

Laura, thanks for your kind words about Queen of Fire. So glad you like it. I was able to fix the weird symbols - they resulted because I'd originally converted the document from Word Perfect to Word. Regine view book

I've put this on my bookshelf. I'm right there with Alice, can't wait to see what happens next. view book

I like the voice of the narrator - it feels authentic and gets across her troubled personality immediately. I've read only the first chapter, but look forward to reading more. view book

I enjoyed the first chapter. Like others I saw echoes of The Wind in the Willows. view book

Thanks for drawing my attention to your book. I've only had time to read the first 3 chapters, but am already intrigued, both by the structure/style and the story so far. The footnotes are a bit distracting for me but that may be because I'm reading on a computer screen rather than on a page where I can see a whole page clearly at once. Looking forward to reading more. view book

Thanks for drawing my attention to your book. I've only had time to read the first 3 chapters, but am already intrigued, both by the structure/style and the story so far. The footnotes are a bit distracting for me but that may be because I'm reading on a computer screen rather than on a page where I can see a whole page clearly at once. Looking forward to reading more. view book

I've only uploaded 7 chapters for now - had some problems with weird symbols instead of apostrophes and quotation marks, which I've mostly fixed though noticed a few in chapter 7. I will try to fix those and add more chapters soon. Comments welcome. view book

Your novel has an intriguing beginning, making me want to read further. Unfortunately, after that I found too much telling and not enough showing. For example, Smokey's funeral is an example of good telling - we get the details and can imagine ourselves there. However, for much of what is posted here, I feel as if I am a great distance away from this story and being told about it at second or third hand. I think it could be much more powerful if you were to think of it as a sensurround movie and describe what we might see and experience on the screen, as well as taste, smell, feel. view book